I call Evangeline and Shizandra the “Hedley Sunshine Girls” because their joy of life is refreshing and contagious, much like an unexpected ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. About a year ago I began thinking it would be fun to have them as my friends. When I attempted to get them to notice me though, I just didn’t possess the charm or charisma to capture their attention. They were in their own little world, sometimes crawling on the floor, pretending they were dogs, sometimes racing each other non-stop. Probably because I was an adult, their young minds could think of no reason to let me in.

I persevered though and asked their mother if I could take a few pictures. She agreed and although the girls didn’t stop long enough to pose, I snapped several shots of them in action. When I showed them the photos on my camera, they were intrigued at seeing themselves.

They are now willing to participate in my amateur photography and quickly come around to view the pictures. Evangeline even offered me an Oreo cookie which she had licked clean of the icing.

For many in our community, the Hedley Sunshine Girls are a delight. They give us a reason to smile.

I discovered Terry Friesen’s online photos approximately 2 years ago and have returned to them repeatedly since then. I called Terry at his home in Abbotsford this week and asked if I could “borrow” pictures occasionally for my blog. He very graciously acquiesced so from time to time I will post examples of his photography.

In his work life Terry refers to himself as a Re-decorator. He paints and hangs wall paper (including tricky murals) He has frequently written on his blog (terryography.blogspot.com)  about jobs just completed. For me it’s fascinating reading. For anyone contemplating giving a new face to their home it can be helpful.

Terry said he doesn’t do new homes. “From the beginning, I learned to be very careful around my customers’ furniture,” he said. “My son Andrew is my partner. He’s even more careful. It’s a privilege to work together with him. Working for customers in their homes is a lot more enjoyable for me than dealing with contractors. Contractors are more interested in getting the job done fast than in quality work.”

I hope you will enjoy Terry’s photos as much as I do. You can view a broad range of his photos at https://www.flickr.com/photos/131268075@N06/page1/

In a 2 hour telephone conversation from her home in Florida last week, paralympic gold medalist Lauren Barwick told me about her devastating accident and how it changed her life. Born in Langley, BC, she loved horses and riding. When a 100 pound bale of hay fell on her and broke her back, she lost all strength and feeling in her legs from her hips down. That day she also lost her dream of being a movies stunt rider.

“After 2 months in the G.F. Strong Rehab Centre,” she said, “I returned to my home, thinking everything I had wanted to do was now impossible. Mom urged me to get on a horse, but I told her I wanted nothing to do with that.”

Only 22 when the accident happened in 2000, she drifted into a state of deep discouragement and depression. A former coach visited, and against vigorous protests, put her on a horse. He talked about preparing for the 2004 Athens Paralympics.

“I had been doing a lot of reflecting,” she said. “I knew I had 3 options. I could be miserable and make people around me miserable. I could end my life. Or, I could move on. I stopped asking ‘why me?’ Instead I now asked, ‘Why would I not be able to win a gold medal?’”

She had trained briefly at the renowned Parelli ranch prior to the accident, but had not completely bought into their philosophy. Now she negotiated with them and returned to the ranch.

Having no lower back muscles and no feeling in her legs, she embarked on a vigorous, disciplined program to strengthen her upper body. Regular visits to the gym included throwing a medicine ball and a lot of time on pulling machines. Outside she did sprints, and also longer distances, in her wheel chair. She grew stronger and now does 10 kilometres a day 2 to 3 times per week. She found mentors and read inspirational books. “I needed to become strong mentally, emotionally and physically,” she said.

The Parelli teaching was well suited to her physical circumstances. Pat Parelli emphasizes partnership without domination and willingness without intimidation. “Don’t kick the horse to start, don’t pull the reins to stop,” is basic to his teaching. Lauren’s philosophy reflects this understanding. There was evident joy in her voice when she said, “my horses catch me. I don’t catch them. I don’t force them to do what I want them to do. A horse can be an incredible partner.”

For Lauren the relationship with a horse is important, even precious. “I treat a horse the way I like to be treated. I want to be my horse’s first choice. I have to earn that by showing respect. It’s the same with humans.” She still stays up late to watch videos about horses. “Studying horsemanship has taught me about myself, morals, the way I live.”

This understanding helps her focus on the good in her life. She is grateful, especially to the Parellis. While under their sponsorship they paid her competition fees and provided accommodation and food. “The Parelli’s enabled me to obtain an incredible education.” She also appreciates the assistance of Canada’s “Own the Podium” program and Equine Canada.

Lauren’s capacity to focus on her vision, her discipline and courage in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, have earned her a place on the international equestrian stage. She has participated in some 50 international events, including 4 world games and the Beijing Paralympics, where she won silver and gold. She is also a much in demand public speaker, providing inspirational talks based on her life. Currently she is training for the Rio 2016 Paralympics.

A 4-star instructor in the Parelli Natural Horsemanship program, she operates her own farm and training centre at Reddick, Florida. She rides 2 to 5 horses a day, usually 6 days a week. Without use of her legs, this is tiring. For 2 to 9 hours a day she teaches horsemanship and conducts clinics and work shops. Her program, Bridging the Gap, attracts clients from diverse places like Germany, Norway, New Zealand, England and the U.S.

Lauren Barwick acknowledges that “since the day when that 100 pound bale broke my back, it hasn’t been easy.” Her parting words to me were, “We need to be open minded. That enables us to see the ideas and opportunities that may help us.”

Linda and I drove from the Fraser Valley to Hedley December 28th, after celebrating Christmas with family and friends.  We stopped at Manning Park Lodge just long enough to buy coffee and get a few photos.  This stretch of the #3 Highway again offered a winter splendor that fostered a deep sense of delight.

Standing on the threshold of a new year, some of us will dare believe we can rise up like eagles and attempt what we have thus far only dreamed of. We will dare to contemplate possibilities that both excite and frighten us.

Working with out of control adolescents on the streets of Surrey and also at Camp Colonial in Hedley, I began to understand that within each of us lies buried a belief we are destined to accomplish something significant with our lives. This understanding was bolstered one morning when Mickey refused to get out of bed and go for breakfast. Only 15, he had been sent by a judge to the One Way Adventure Foundation in the hope one of our programs would foster a less adversarial, criminal mind-set. He was lodged with 11 other equally difficult youths in the Coach house. Fair haired and slight of build, he could be amiable when the gods were smiling on him. When discouragement overtook him though, he became obnoxious and obstinate. This morning, I told the workers to take the others to breakfast and I’d talk with Mickey.

I sat on the edge of his bed and we chatted casually about his family and past life. An atmosphere of despair hovered about him. His mom had visited him only once since he arrived several months ago. Her boyfriend disliked him. His mind had plunged into a deep abyss of resignation, and he had no compelling reason to get out of bed. I wondered if there was even a tiny spark that could be ignited within him.

Realizing he had awakened to a mood of utter disconsolation, I felt I needed to divert him in the most profound way I could think of. “Mickey,” I said, “do you want to do something important with your life?” A radical departure from our conversation to that point, I discerned from the sudden restlessness of his legs that the question had unsettled him. After a moment the restlessness ceased and a meek voice answered, “yah… I do.”

“Can I give you an idea of what it takes to do important things?” I asked. He nodded, probably hoping he wasn’t wandering too far onto dangerous terrain. “Almost always it begins with changing our thinking,” I said. “Changing our thinking about what we are capable of doing and about how we deal with problems. Hard things will often stand in our way. We can believe it’s possible to overcome them and do important things in spite of them.”

Mickey’s nod indicated he had not shut me out. He threw off the bedcovers, resolutely eased out of bed and reached for his pants and shirt.

Tennis super star Serena Williams could have given Mickey, and each of us, a much fuller understanding of a more productive way of thinking. In “My Life: Queen of the Court”, she discusses the value of planting positive, uplifting thoughts in our minds, and reinforcing them continually. When she was young, her mother told her “whatever you become, you become in your head first. You become what you think about most. Good thoughts are powerful.” Serena clung to these words and wrote dozens of post it notes, reminding herself of who she wanted to be and what she hoped to accomplish.

Mickey’s mother never learned the importance of planting a powerful, positive vision in the mind of her son. Like virtually every student of whom I asked the question, Mickey did have the desire to do something significant with his life. He also had at least the spark of a belief that he could.

I concluded from the experiences I had with our students there must be planted within each of us a belief we are capable of doing something that has meaning and value. For all of us, the start of a new year is a great time to think about what we want to accomplish in the coming 12 months, and in the rest of our life. We can believe for more and reach a little higher. We all have everything it takes to do important things.

When Linda and I stopped at the Manning Park Lodge to pick up coffee last week, Laura told us she’d be leaving soon. Young, pretty and convivial, she has always had time for a brief visit with us in the park store. Earlier this year I wrote about her on my blog, calling her “the prettiest girl in Manning Park.” Apparently she has a huge fan base. That post drew an incredible number of visits. We had become friends. When she told us she was leaving Manning Park, we were disappointed, realizing we might never see her again.

Friendships in our society are frequently short lived. They may surprise us like a brief ray of sunshine on a sombre day, then quickly fade away. We tend to be rather blasé about relationships, possibly because geographically many of us do not put down deep roots. In the past people often stayed in the village or town where they were born. This gave relationships time to mature.

When Laura told us she was leaving Manning Park, I was reminded of Roy. One of my most useful lessons concerning friendships came from him, an entirely unlikely source. My work at that time frequently took me into provincial and federal prisons. During those years I developed relationships of considerable trust with men doing time for fraud, trafficking in heroin and cocaine, murder, etc. In some cases all their relationships with people outside prison had been severed and they received no visits. When they became eligible for a Temporary Absence, Linda and I at times invited such men to our home for a meal. In some cases we became friends. Almost invariably though, upon release they reverted back to their former criminal associations and haunts. Most apparently didn’t understand the value of friends.

Inexplicably, Roy did understand, although he at times severely tested my patience. He was doing time at Matsqui Institution for b & e’s and possession of heroin. His stocky physique, massive arms and shiny dome gave the appearance of a Mafia enforcer. In his childhood and youth, family life had been a shambles. His father did jail time and his step mother didn’t want Roy in the home.

Roy never became a success story. In time he traded the heroin for alcohol, which did nothing to improve his outlook or circumstances. Unlike other men who disappeared when their parole time ran out, Roy continued to stay in contact with Walter, his community sponsor, and with Linda and myself. When our phone jangled raucously at 2 am, I knew it would be Roy. Invariably, he’d dipped deeply into some intoxicating beverage that had elevated him to a state of joyous euphoria. He was a happy drunk. Although not a religious man, as he grew older he often asked if he could pray for me and my family before we signed off.

The next day he’d phone to apologize for waking me and behaving like a fool. It was a crazy friendship but in his sober hours, Roy frequently expressed deep appreciation for Walter and his family and for Linda and myself. He had no one else in his life. I was never able to develop an appreciation for the nocturnal phone calls, but I realize now Roy desperately wanted to stay connected with his few friends.

When Linda and I returned to Hedley 3 years ago after an absence of 25 years, like Roy, we realized we’d need to be proactive about staying in touch. In our earlier stint here, many of our relationships in the Fraser Valley had fallen away due to lack of attention.

Not wanting another loss of friendships, we decided to employ the understanding Roy had, although we didn’t have the chutzbah to make middle of the night calls. I think of it as the Roy Friendship Plan. Our version consists of writing an e-mail letter every 2 months to family and friends. The response has been gratifying. After each letter, a number of recipients respond with a note about their activities. Some invite us to come for coffee or lunch when we’re in their neighbourhood.

Although Roy has moved on to another sphere where he doesn’t need alcohol or drugs to experience euphoria, we continue to be grateful for his example. It’s never too late to gather a circle of friends.

I have many times experienced a tingling of awe and reverence watching aging veterans solemnly marching in measured cadence to the Hedley cenotaph, a solitary piper playing martial music. Invariably, their visages are inscrutable, possibly remembering fallen comrades. On Remembrance Day we honour them, but unless we have hunkered down behind rocks in the mountains of Afghanistan under attack by the Taliban, or flown in bombing missions against ISIS, we cannot know the fear and danger many vets have endured.

I returned recently to the account of Louis Zamperini in the best selling book and movie, Unbroken. An Olympic runner, Louis’ athletic career was interrupted by World War 11. The Green Hornet, in which he served as a bombardier, went down over the Pacific Ocean on May 27, 1943. He and 2 crew members inflated two rubber rafts and began floating toward Japanese held territory. Their only food was several thick Hershey chocolate bars designed to be unpalatably bitter A few half pint tins of water, a fishing line and hooks, a brass mirror and a patch kit were among their meagre supplies.

Near the equator, they endured heat during the day and cold at night. Sharks 6 to 12 feet long circled the rafts incessantly, rubbing against the undersides. Their clothes were growing looser.

Determined to survive, Louis and Phil, pilot of the Green Hornet, challenged each other and willed fear away. Mac, another crew member, became increasingly pessimistic and resigned. His body grew weaker, following his spirit. One night, immersed in depression, he ate the remaining chocolate.

Louis captured 2 albatrosses, which they ate. He and Phil devised an ingenious plan and killed 2 sharks. They ate the livers. Having no drinking water Louis, whose lifestyle had been thoroughly irreligious, prayed for rain. The next day there was a downpour.

One day 2 Japanese planes strafed them, damaging the rafts but not wounding the men. That night they fought off sharks while baling water and repairing the rafts. In the water, Louis thwarted a shark attack by punching it hard on the nose. He promised if God would save them, he’d serve Heaven forever.

On Day 47 , they landed on an atoll of the Marshall Islands. Mac had given up and died. Gaunt in their ragged clothes, Louis and Phil were taken prisoner by the Japanese. Their initial captors treated them well. When Louis was sent to “Execution Island” though, a new ordeal began. In a small cell he shared with rats, fleas and mosquitoes, he received 2 cups of water per day. Rice balls were thrown on the gravel floor. Guards beat and poked him with sticks.

“The guards tried to rob us of our dignity and self-worth,” Louis wrote later. “I made a decision to not let them break me.”

One guard, The Bird, singled out Louis for particularly harsh attention. He regularly clubbed him and punched him in the face. Sometimes he forced him to stand holding a long beam over his head. In the final weeks of the war, he told Louis to fill a barrel with water. “Tomorrow I’m going to drown you,” The Bird told him. Only the end of the war prevented the prisoners from following through on a plot to kill this inhumane tormentor.

Free and back home, Louis could not escape the horrors he had endured. In flashbacks and nightmares, lice and fleas wriggled over his body. The Bird struck him with the heavy steel buckle on his belt. “I believed only The Bird could restore me, by suffering and dying in the grip of my hands.” One night he woke up on his wife Cynthia, choking her. Alcohol was destroying their marriage.

Although he resisted strenuously, Cynthia persuaded him to a attend a rally of a young Billy Graham. Graham’s words penetrated into the depth of his being and he was reminded of his promise on the raft. He responded to Graham’s invitation to accept God’s healing and never had another flashback.

In time he wanted to meet and forgive those who had tormented him. The Bird refused, but when Louis met many of the former tormentors in a Japanese prison, they warmly embraced him and his message.

For combatants, the inner battles don’t always end when they are demobilized. As a nation we need to commit to their physical, mental and emotional healing.

I reserve all forms of the word “amaze” for only that which is truly extraordinary. For me, autumn colours have an impact on my psyche and senses that I consider amazing. In Manning Park a month ago, the yellow leaves were lighted brilliantly by the October sun. At various points along Highway 3 between Hedley and Hope, numerous splashes of yellow contrasted with the green forest that blankets the towering mountains. Standing on the bridge across 20 Mile Creek here in Hedley a few days later, I was awed by the spectacular wall of yellow alongside the creek. A grove of trees on a meadow on Nickel Plate Mountain provided an astounding array of red leaves.

For me, “amazing” is an appropriate word to describe the manner in which Mother Nature, like a quick change artist, suddenly strips the colour and beauty from the trees, leaving them bereft and stark, at times dripping with rain. The change tends to leave me feeling somewhat bereft myself, and a little mystified at how silently and surreptitiously this is accomplished.

This autumn the falling of the leaves came quickly, coinciding with the passing of 3 valued friends. In each case, like the leaves, they departed too soon. As a university student Eric Robinson was for two summers a labourer/teacher with Frontier College. He later became principle of the college, received an honourary doctorate from the University of Calgary and was awarded the Order of Ontario. Although I had not seen Eric in years prior to his passing, I continue to miss his warmth and ability to speak about ideas. Another lost friend is Barry Berger of Keremeos. A physically large man with a self deprecating sense of humour, Barry worked with street people in Vancouver, sometimes in dangerous circumstances. Cousin Eddy, who I wrote about last week is another individual I will miss. Known as “Fast Eddy,” he was a highly skilled and respected truck driver. Each of these individuals exemplified qualities I enjoyed and respected.

Both fall leaves and human lives possess the capacity to create in me a sense of awe. Then all too quickly the beauty begins to recede and soon fades into oblivion. Just as we have a short time to observe and appreciate the grandeur of nature’s autumn colours, the opportunity to understand and appreciate the people in our lives is also relatively short.

Fortunately the colours of late fall can still impress, and so can the wisdom of people, especially those with white hair. I’ve concluded that if I stand still long enough to take note of the leaves, and take time to get to know the people around me, the sense of amazement can always be there.