Monthly Archives: August 2020

Inspiration, People

My Friend’s Battle With Covid 19

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Robert & Jennifer

Living in Hedley, where we have no known cases of Covid 19, there seemed little reason to be concerned. That changed when Linda and I received an email last week from our friend Robert Billyard. At age 76, he had still been working at a company with 300 employees. “A lot of them were young and not worried about the virus,” he said in a telephone interview from his home in Mission. “Those young bucks believe their bullet proof. At my age I knew I was vulnerable. I decided to retire a couple of months earlier than I had planned. I was too late.”

Robert is a big man endowed with a powerful physique. He and wife Jennifer met when they were participants in a cycling group. They have long been active in various sports, including swimming and kayaking. They seemed too healthy and vibrant to be taken down by the coronavirus.

In early April he began experiencing chills and fatigue and his behaviour was becoming eccentric. “I’m going to book a room at the Best Western,” he told Jennifer at dinner one evening. “I’m not feeling well.” A pragmatic, no nonsense lady, she kiboshed this idea. “I’m taking you to the Emergency right now,” she said.

Tests revealed he had the virus. “They put me into an induced coma,” he recalled. “That was so my body wouldn’t fight the ventilator, and to prevent brain damage.” While in the coma he had vivid dreams, some terrifying. “In one dream I was taken hostage by a drug cartel,” he said. “I thought they planned to kill me so I was very nice to them. I gave them all kinds of reasons to let me live.”

He feels fortunate that Jennifer stayed in close contact with the medical team and with his daughters in Denmark. “It was a tough time for her. Gardening was her therapy.”

In late April a doctor told Jennifer Robert was no longer responding to treatment and not coming out of the coma as expected. The medical team started questioning whether he would survive. Also, they cautioned Jennifer that if he did wake he might suffer a heart attack or stroke. Robert had told Jennifer he never wanted to be placed in a facility for the aged and disabled.

She reluctantly signed a “do not resuscitate” order. “It was the loneliest day of my life,” she told him later. Desperate and not a quitter, Jennifer read him the riot act on Zoom. “We have too much on our bucket list,” she told him. “You can’t die yet.”

“When I did wake after 5 weeks in a coma,” Robert said, “I thought I was in a pub. I ordered a beer.” His body had deteriorated and he didn’t have strength to stand. Initially the nurses needed to feed him. Even now he is dealing with shortness of breath. Looking back on the experience, Robert said, “It’s pure hell when you’re in the midst of it. At my age I’m lucky to have survived. I feel that I cheated death.”

I wondered if the Covid experience had changed him. “I had been struggling with the age thing,” he replied. “Covid has helped me understand that we don’t fully appreciate life until we are close to death. Surviving the virus has made me more positive and grateful. It has also deepened Jenny and my relationship.”

He paused and seemed deep in thought, then continued. “I’d like to make more friends and go for coffee with them. I’m not strong enough yet for demanding physical activities. Jenny and I have done a lot of kayaking. Maybe I’ll get back to that. I used to play badminton, but that’s a young person’s sport. At my age, it’s too fast. I do feel rejuvenated though, younger than a year ago. Probably because I’m not working and my body is getting more rest. I’m not as strong as I was, but even so I feel like I’m winding back the clock.” His perspective on the Covid scare, and most things is surprisingly positive.

Jenny is ready for a more uplifting adventure next time. She put it pretty succinctly, telling him, “Robert, you’ve burned all your health credits. You can’t have another crisis for ten years.”

Hearing my friend’s account, I now understand that Covid 19 is more real and dangerous than I had thought. It leaves no room for complacency.

People, Societal Issues

A Matter Of Honour

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“My parents taught me that keeping my word is a matter of honour,” Kalvin said.

The challenge of directing a little white ball on a golf course tends to forge deep bonds of friendship. This was certainly the case for Kalvin and his three golfing companions. Beginning in the late 1990’s they played for years at a popular golf course in Langley each weekend. Corky came to Kalvin’s home on Wednesdays to play pool. These were relationships Kalvin valued greatly and he expected them to last to the end of their days.

Five years ago Kalvin and his wife moved to the Similkameen Valley. Last week, sitting on his deck, he told us a story that mingled commitment, friendship, honour and betrayal.

“I had heard on the news one day that someone had won $42 million in the lottery,” he began. That Saturday on the golf course with his partners, he said, “I feel lucky today. I bought a lottery ticket. If I win $40 million, I’ll give you each a million. Plus you can each pick a golf course anywhere in the world and I’ll fly us and our families there. I’ll pay for all expenses, including golfing fees, hotel rooms and meals. Everything.”

For Corky (not his real name), the idea was especially exhilarating. “Let’s all start buying tickets,” he urged. “ If one of us wins $40 million, the other three will each get one million. If the prize is $20 million everyone gets $500,000.” They all embraced the proposal with enthusiasm. It added an additional element of excitement to their friendship. Later, in the club house they confirmed and celebrated their pledge to each other, beginning with beer. Then Corky, still exuberant, ordered 4 shooters. They raised their glasses and cheered.

Over the years and many rounds of golf, they had become close and trusted each other without reservation. They felt no need to commit the arrangement to paper. On the course, and in the club house over a few beer at the end of playing, they often talked about their pact and what they would do with the money. They viewed their compact as ongoing into the future.

“I grew up in a home where truth and honesty were all-important,” Kalvin said. “My parents taught me that keeping my word is a matter of honour. I felt I knew these men well and it never occurred to me we should put this in writing. I was confident these good friends would honour their word.”

In retrospect, it would have been prudent to document the agreement. Lottery winnings have destroyed relationships, even between family members. On its website, the B.C. Lottery Corporation suggests such agreements be documented. Money often has a corrupting influence and can be a real test of character.

Kalvin worked as a superintendent on construction projects these years. Then three back surgeries sidelined him from the work scene. For five years he had no income, just plenty of pain. “I emptied my RRSP account and my wife worked,” he said. They moved to the Hedley area and now live on four acres overlooking the Similkameen River. On a disability pension, he is able to work only a few hours each day. Since their last day on the golf course, two of the original four partners have succumbed to cancer, leaving only Kalvin and Corky.

Kalvin has stayed in contact with Corky. This spring he learned his friend had just won big in the lottery. “I reminded him of our commitment to share if one of us hit the jackpot. I was astounded when Corky told me he didn’t remember any such thing.”

For Kalvin, not receiving his share isn’t the most troubling aspect of this situation. “The thing that hurts in this is that my friend of 15 years has decided not to honour the commitment. I always thought he was a straight up guy. He called me his friend. It’s hard to believe he’d do this. I don’t understand how anyone can break trust and destroy a friendship for the sake of money. If he came on my yard today and offered me the $500,000, I’d ask to see the cheques for the widows of our golfing partners. If he didn’t intend to pay them, I wouldn’t accept a dime.” Shaking his head he said, “I just can’t respect someone who doesn’t follow through on his word.” He paused, then concluded with, “For me, it’s a matter of honour.”

Inspiration

Not Our Usual Trip On Highway 3

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The line of cars stretched around the corner and probably beyond.

When Linda and I departed from Abbotsford last Thursday, we anticipated the usual uneventful drive back to Hedley. Stopping in Hope for coffee to go, we received our first indication things might be different this trip. Two ambulances with sirens screaming rushed by to the east at race track speed.

By the time we passed through Manning Park we had forgotten about them. Then, approximately 50 km. west of Princeton, the traffic slowed markedly and came to a full stop. The line of cars stretched to the next corner and probably beyond. People were already emerging from their vehicles, stretching bodies stiff from prolonged sitting.

An elderly man with a long white beard stood beside his pickup, agitatedly scanning the rugged terrain. On the right side of the highway he faced a precipitous drop to the river below. On the left the rocky mountain rose abruptly. I wondered about the source of his evident discomfort until he determinedly set off at an awkward, hurried gait toward a sparse clump of bushes at the edge of the roadway. He disappeared from view. After a few moments he reappeared and jauntily returned to his vehicle. Next a woman of about 40, in a pink party dress skittered toward the bushes on high heels. The bushes quickly became a popular source of sanctuary. Most ladies apparently were reluctant though and demonstrated remarkable forbearance.

We had come somewhat prepared to weather any short term wait. We ate the sandwiches, bran muffins and fruit Linda had assembled. For some time we listened to John Grisham’s “The Rain Maker.” Then we joined others walking along the side of the highway. Initially the conversations between all these strangers consisted mostly of “heard anything?” A young man on a skateboard had gone to the head of the line. “A transport truck rolled and struck a van and there are injuries,” he reported. “Police are there and a chopper has flown out the casualties. We’ll be here a couple of hours.”

I was reminded of the Hope Slide in 1965 in which several vehicles were crushed and 4 people died. On that occasion Highway 3 was closed several days. It occurred to me our situation would be difficult if this was winter, with freezing temperatures and abundant snow. It was a reminder we need to prepare more fully for future trips in mountainous terrain. I wondered if the woman in the party dress and high heels was having similar thoughts.

Yann-Allegre on Unsplash

The skateboarder returned and said, “They’re going to open the road in one to five minutes.” We scurried to our vehicles and waited hopefully. No movement. Fifteen minutes later the skateboarder returned and said, “Sorry, now they expect it will be another three hours.”

Some people were becoming impatient. Cars and pickups began leaving the line and turning back, probably to access the Coquihalla. A semi just ahead of us could not turn on the narrow strip of highway. Once again people emerged from their vehicles. Conversations became longer. There seemed to be a sense that we might as well use the time profitably. When Linda met a woman from Taber, Alberta, she said, “I was born in Taber. Do you know my cousin Merv Craddock?” She did and they were instant friends. A woman from Princeton told me she and her husband had recently bought a small ranch in the area. “Do you know Don and Thalia?” I asked. “Yes,” she responded. “We’ve helped them on their ranch.”

At about 5 pm, we were again told the police were going to open the highway. Hurrying to our car, we passed the man with the long white beard, slumbering peacefully behind the steering wheel of his pickup. A little farther along, the lady in the pink dress had not heard the news. She was pouring herself a drink from a large brown flask. Back in our car, I was reminded that along the highway of life we are certain to encounter adventures and challenges. How we respond will depend on our thinking.

Traffic control wouldn’t let us stop to take a photo, so this was taken as we were driving passed the accident scene.

As we passed the accident scene we saw the semi lying on its side, the dark underbelly exposed. It occurred to me that compared to the unhappy event that had overtaken the people in this accident, our little ordeal was no more than an insignificant hiccup. I did hope the lady in the pink dress would arrive at the party or wedding on time.

Hedley Times, Inspiration, People

Food Trailer, Building For A Future

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Bill Carmichael & Trisha Mills, Courage for the Future

Almost two years after the iconic Hitching Post Restaurant burned to the ground in the middle of the night, people in Hedley continue to hope it will rise from the ashes. Visitors to our community still ask if it will be rebuilt. It’s a question owners Bill Carmichael and Trisha Mills have been grappling with since that fateful night when they jumped from the second floor into a void of darkness. In a conversation in our home last week they talked about their life journey since that night, including their ongoing battle with serious, life changing injuries sustained when they jumped. To this day they live with pain and an uncertain financial future. Some individuals would have been driven to their knees by the misfortune that has assaulted them. Many relationships would have floundered. Amazingly, Bill and Trisha have found the inner resolve to carry on together.

They spent much of this past winter in Mexico, living in their small car top tent. I had noticed upon their return that their walking seemed easier. “It wasn’t as warm as we expected,” Trisha said. “Much of the time we wore winter clothes. It was warmer than Hedley though and this contributed to the healing of our bodies. Walking on the sandy beaches increased our muscle strength. We couldn’t use our walking sticks on the sand.”

“We both still have nerve pain,” Bill continued. “Some days are better than others. I use my walking stick more than Trisha.”

They know some of their physical issues will likely never completely leave them, but they aren’t grumblers. “That’s just life,” Bill said. “If you want to survive you make decisions and move forward. We don’t mire ourselves down. There’s never been a time when we came to a full stop. In Mexico we talked a lot about our future, “ Bill continued. “It’s still our desire to one day offer Hedley a year round food service. We’ve drawn a floor plan for a restaurant, but we know we won’t be able to replicate the Hitching Post experience. The extent of our recovery will determine what we can do.”

A year ago they were urged to consider a mobile food service as a beginning. “We thought maybe in a year we’d be able to do that,” Trisha said. “We didn’t feel physically strong enough at the time, but we needed an income so we began looking into possibilities.” Several months ago they bought a food trailer with an established customer base in Penticton. “It’s pushing our bodies to the limit,” Bill noted, “but we’re getting an understanding of what we’re capable of. We’re happy to have a sense of direction.”

Each Friday, Saturday and Sunday they are on location in Penticton at the Indigenous Bloom cannabis store across from Super Save Gas, west of the channel. In the evening they drive into the surrounding mountains and sleep in their tent. “Dexter, our dog, absolutely loves it in the mountains,” Bill said.

On Thursdays they set up in the heart of Hedley, on the former site of the Hitching Post. “People seem happy to see us here,” Trisha said. “It’s very encouraging to have their support.”

Trisha is preparing a delicious breakfast sandwich.

At this time Trisha is more involved in food preparation and serving customers. Bill sets up and maintains the systems to ensure their fledgling enterprise functions smoothly. Both are on their feet a lot. “Being physically active does exact a toll,” Trisha observed. “Nerve damage causes pain. Sometimes when I’m sitting down and want to get up, my body screams “no, no, no!” “We deal with the pain when no one is around,” Bill added. “Usually at the end of the day.”

Their menu entices. Linda and I have both sampled the breakfast sandwich and the smoky hotdog. This Thursday it may be bratwurst or a black bean burger. Then likely the pulled pork sandwich. Knowing the food trailer will be in town, we look forward to Thursdays.

Since the loss of the Hitching Post, Bill and Trisha have lived in a small motor home or their car top tent. In spite of the cramped quarters, ongoing pain, being together almost continuously and having only limited funds, they have retained their resolve to move forward. Listening to them and observing their actions, it seems possible that one day some version of the Hitching Post will rise from the ashes.

Bill & Trisha aren’t just operating a food trailer, they’re building for a future.
Hedley Times

Hedley Family Routed By Fire At Night

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Hedley citizens were awakened by fire sirens & explosions.

Citizens of Hedley were awakened shortly before 4:30 Sunday morning by fire truck sirens and loud explosions. Fire sirens are rarely heard here except on Tuesday evenings when firefighters gather for practise. On this occasion it was for real. Hedley firefighters arrived on the scene within minutes but the fire had spread rapidly and a large 2 story home at the corner of Kingston and First St. was already completely engulfed in flames. (According to the Hedley Museum archivist, it was a heritage building, constructed in 1905 or 1906).

This 1912 photo, courtesy of the Hedley Museum, shows the house on the far right which was destroyed in the fire.

An ominous, massive black plume was rising straight up hundreds of metres. Because the structure was at the edge of town and there was concern trees on the mountainside would catch fire, emphasis was on preventing this and also protecting nearby homes. Several trees at the base of the mountain “candled”, according to a firefighter. Keremeos Fire Department arrived to assist.

It was speculated by an onlooker that the fire started behind the home and that the popping sounds had come from propane cannisters. Later in the morning, during the mopping up stage, Assistant Fire Chief Doug Nimchuk said the cause of the fire is not yet known.

For many years people in Hedley have expressed concern that a fire in town might spark a forest fire and endanger the entire community. In the Sunday morning fire the home was completely destroyed but the diligence and rigorous training of firefighters prevented the blaze from spreading up the mountainside or to nearby structures.

The Hedley Volunteer Fire Department, with assistance from the Keremeos Volunteer Fire Department, saved surrounding structures and prevented the fire from going up the mountain.

On a Go Fund Me page Savannah Fitch states, “My mother managed to get everyone out of the house in time which included 2 little girls, my 70 year old disabled grandfather and his wife, my mother, 2 dogs, 7 brand new kittens, and the adult mom cat.” The flames were spreading rapidly and they had to leave behind all possessions, including clothes and shoes. Assistance was provided by the Animal Lifeline Emergency Response Team from Penticton and Princeton Emergency Support Services.

Later Sunday morning police secured the scene with crime tape, and a firefighter said an investigation team is on the way. She said it is considered a “crime scene.”