Community, People

Walter Despot of Keremeos

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Walter Despot on the deck of his home in Keremeos.

I might easily have concluded Walter Despot was dealt a pretty decent hand at the outset of his life. He’s been a pharmacist in his own successful pharmacy, mayor of Keremeos for 3 terms and chaired committees that brought significant positive change to the Similkameen Valley. In an extended conversation with Walter and Barbara in their comfortable Keremeos home, I was particularly interested in the thinking that made him an effective leader.

“My father passed away when I was 5,” he began. “Mom had emigrated from Poland in 1924 with only a grade 2 education and initially didn’t speak English. She had 4 kids to feed and clothe. In spite of her lack of means, she understood clearly it was important that her children attend university. I caught her vision. More than anyone else, her thinking and words have profoundly shaped my values and decisions.”

Walter and Barbara attended the same school beginning in grade 3. Over the ensuing years a friendship developed and flowered into love. Barbara was 19 and Walter 20 when they were married. She worked at what was then B.C. Tel and Walter attended UBC.

“My older brother was a pharmacist and I decided to follow in his footsteps,” Walter recalled. “We needed to be careful with money. I hitchhiked in from the university gates to save the 10 cent bus fare so I could buy a coffee. We lived in a third story apartment. There was a shared bathroom on the second floor and a phone on the main floor.” Barbara smiled and nodded at the memory.

At age 22, Walter received his pharmaceutical licence and 3 months later Barbara delivered twins. Although he was hired by Cunningham Drugs, there were no thoughts of a spending spree. “We didn’t go out for dinners,” Barbara said. “We walked a lot.”

Possibly it was the early influence of his mother that gave him the desire to have his own store. “You can’t stand still or you’ll die on the vine,” he observed. In May, 1964, they bought the Keremeos Pharmacy. “It was the only store in B.C. I could afford,” he said. “It was the best move we could have made,” Barbara added.

Looking around and talking with neighbours in their new community, Walter and Barbara became aware of possible changes and improvements. Rather than complain, they embraced opportunities to make a difference. Walter participated on the committee that secured a full-time doctor for Keremeos in 1975. He joined the Fire Department and served 40 years, three as chief. He gave 22 years to the ambulance service as a paramedic. “Initially we were volunteers,” he said. Somehow he also found time to serve as part-time coroner for about 15 years.

Chairing the group that built the Diagnostic Centre with its 25 residential care spaces was particularly rewarding. “It’s probably the most important accomplishment of my life,” he said. From 2002 to 2016 he was chair of the Board of the Lower Similkameen Community Services Society, guiding the development of numerous vital services valued by Keremeos citizens, including three residences for seniors.

As he accepted new roles and responsibilities, his leadership skills and experience grew incrementally. After selling the pharmacy in 1998 he was drawn into politics. “I didn’t think of myself as a mover and shaker,” he said, “Being mayor was never in the cards, but as you gain experience you move ahead.” Speaking of his time as mayor he was lavish in his appreciation of others.“I had very good councilors. That made it a lot easier. Also, Barbara and I have always been a team.”

For 7 years he chaired the Regional Hospital District Board which planned for the expansion of Penticton Regional hospital. “This was one of my biggest challenges ever. We were told there wasn’t money for it. I’ve learned that when you’re told something can’t be done, you should find a way.” Now, after 18 years, the Tower is serving the people.

Although he often played a key role, there was no hint of boasting when he spoke of his participation in community projects. “It took the involvement of a lot of people.” At the end he said, “Barbara and I are thankful for what we’ve had and we look forward to what we can still do.” About to celebrate 60 years together, Walter and Barbara both appear fit and ready for further adventures. Walter still hopes to travel abroad. Somewhere his mother is probably smiling.

Walter & Barbara Despot
Inspiration, Politics

Politics a Central Theme in Easter Story

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The Empty Tomb

In his 30th year, Jesus of Nazareth began propounding religious and social ideas that confounded and antagonized the Jewish religious elites of his time. He arrived on the scene during the reign of Caesar Augustus, and lived into the rule of Tiberius. Without an army or political party, his message brought more significant, lasting change than all the powerful Roman emperors combined.

In the 33rd year of his life, the Jewish religious authorities succeeded in persuading Roman governor, Pontius Pilate, to crucify him. According to accounts by Biblical writers like the former tax collector Matthew, he was resurrected on the third day and spoke with his disciples. It is this death on a cross and miraculous resurrection that will be celebrated by Christians around the globe this Easter.

The Roman empire had been cobbled together by 2 ambitious but uneasy partners, Caesar Augustus and Mark Antony. Throughout its existence, the empire was held together by a web of intrigue, assassinations, political marriages, betrayals, poisonings, and war. Women were valued primarily for forging alliances. In Rome there were numerous temples to various gods, and men of nobility, including emperors, wished to be identified as near gods. Conquered nations usually suffered under a huge burden of taxation. Disobedience was often dealt with by crucifixion, beheading, poisoning or drowning.

In this septic atmosphere of mistrust and scheming, the Jewish religious leaders had managed to acquire a measure of political power. Their authority was lodged in the Sanhedrin, the Jewish ruling council. The council consisted primarily of 2 parties, the Sadducees, which at this time held the majority of seats, and the Pharisees. The Pharisees believed there would be a resurrection of the dead but the Sadducees did not. On other points of lesser importance they did agree and had developed an all encompassing system of religious rules which the people found virtually impossible to follow. The religious rulers could bar people from the temple if they didn’t comply. Since Jewish culture centered on religious traditions and especially on the temple, there was fear of being shut out.

It was not an auspicious time for the appearance of a man who claimed to be the Son of God. The Sadducees and Pharisees quickly became suspicious because he contradicted much of their teaching. They held to the “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” philosophy. “Love your neighbour,” they said, “and hate your enemy.” Jesus urged the people to “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” The chief priests and teachers of the law deemed his teaching to be heretical and sent spies to question him and report to them.

Jesus warned against the corruptness and false piety of the religious leaders. “They like to walk around in flowing robes,” he said, “and be greeted in the market places and have the most important seats in the synagogues. For a show they make lengthy prayers.”

Equally galling were the miracles. When he healed a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath, they accused him of breaking the law and began plotting to kill him.

Evidently the people were desperate for greater substance than the rules and platitudes offered by the pious, corrupt religious leaders. Crowds gathered around Jesus, sensing his authenticity and liking his positive message of forgiveness and hope. This fervent adulation aroused fear and jealousy in the Sadducees and Pharisees. When he brought Lazarus back from the dead, a member of the Sanhedrin said, “If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will take away our place and our nation.”

Late one night, Judas Iscariot, one of the 12 disciples betrayed Jesus with a kiss in the Garden of Gethsemane. At dawn the religious leaders brought him before Pontius Pilate, demanding he be crucified. Jesus had told his disciples this would happen.

Reluctantly, Pilate sentenced him and he was crucified between 2 criminals. One joined the scoffing. The other said, “Lord remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus replied, “today you will be with me in paradise.”

Several writers in the Biblical New Testament report that Jesus died on the cross, was placed in a tomb, and was resurrected 3 days later. This Easter, Christians around the globe will again greet each other with “He is risen!”

People

Still Inspired By Blog Personalities

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Linda & Art Martens

This month I celebrate 5 years of offering a small town perspective on life, people, community and politics.  Although the blog is published under my name, I feel fortunate that Linda, my life partner, has participated in almost every interview and has played a key role in the editing. Many times her wisdom and judgment have added depth and clarity. Our partnership has greatly enriched the experience for me.

I’ve been especially interested in the stories of people in the Similkameen Valley. When I heard about Nora Allison and her pack train of horses hauling supplies through the mountains from Hope to Princeton and beyond, I was immediately captivated. Indigenous, she was a plucky entrepreneur, bold, self-reliant, and able to survive in adverse terrain and harsh winters. Three great granddaughters shared their knowledge of her and I felt privileged to write a portion of her story.

Rollo Ceccon of Princeton

Rollo Ceccon, a retired Princeton contractor, told about a life threatening accident on the job. “I backed my dump truck to the edge of a 1,000 foot deep glory hole,” he said. “The earth caved under the back wheels. I and my truck fell 250 feet to a rock outcropping.” Miraculously, he survived but was in a coma for 2 weeks. It was determined he had 6 broken vertebrae, several broken ribs and a broken leg. A head wound required 120 stitches. Initially he was in a body cast. When he graduated to a walking cast and crutches, he signed himself out. Undaunted by pain and impaired mobility, he soon returned to work. During his recovery time, he fell in love with Blanche, a pretty waitress in the Traveller’s Cafe. He wooed her and in time she agreed to marry him. At the time of our conversation he was 87, still meeting friends in a restaurant for coffee and conversation.

Henry & Barb Allison

Several years ago Linda and I had a 2 hour conversation with Henry and Barb Allison in their spacious log home across from Standing Rock on Highway 3. Barb recalled riding a horse across the Similkameen River to attend school. Henry and Barb met in the Keremeos elementary school and in time became sweethearts. Henry quit school after grade 6 when a teacher accused him of cheating. “He didn’t think an Indian kid could be smart enough to get high marks,” he said. Barb’s mother opposed their relationship because she wanted Barb to attend university and become a lawyer. At a family meeting her father wisely said, “We better not stand in their way or they’ll just run away and get married anyway.” He did insist that if they wanted to continue the relationship, they must marry immediately. They built their log home on the present site because Barb’s mother wanted them to protect the iconic Standing Rock. It was highly revered by Indigenous people as a place for religious ceremonies. Barb was later elected band chief and Henry owned 2 mills and a logging operation. They spoke freely about the death of their 18 year old son and the sadness this still causes them.

Maggie Graham on a holiday.

For years I’d heard that after the mine on Nickel Plate Mountain closed, Bill and Maggie Graham had purchased the Colonial Inn with proceeds from gold dust Bill found around the Stamp Mill. When I learned their daughter Maureen was living in Keremeos, I asked her about this. “After the Stamp Mill shut down,” she explained, “my father requested permission to sweep up whatever gold dust remained. Over 3 years he swept the mill thoroughly, even pulling up floor boards and sweeping underneath. Using a broom and wheelbarrow, he filled a total of 8 tram cars. It turned out there was enough gold in that dust to purchase the Inn and send me and my brother to college.” Maureen and her mother subsequently operated the Inn. Their sumptuous meals, including home made bread and blueberry pies, and Maggie’s vivacious personality attracted guests like Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and Tommy Douglas.

Last week, after reading some of the blog notes gathered over 5 years, I was again impressed by the quality and inspirational lives of the individuals I’ve written about. Some, like John Merriman of Keremeos and John Terbasket of the Lower Similkameen Indian Band, have passed on. I feel privileged to have recorded highlights of their lves. It’s challenging at times, but doing it with Linda continues to make it a magical journey.

Community

Rene Castellani, Prison and Children

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Hanging Noose (Catholic Say, Pinterest

In 1967, the year I enrolled as a student at SFU, Canada’s Parliament had a change of heart concerning hanging. This didn’t impact my life, but I’m certain Rene Castellani was deeply relieved. He was in court at the time the bill was being stickhandled through Parliament, charged with the death of his wife Esther. She loved milkshakes and he had laced them with arsenic, bringing them to her even when she was hospitalized. Two weeks after the moratorium was announced, he was convicted of murder. Without the change, he almost certainly would have had a black hood placed over his head and a noose slipped around his neck.

Rene & Esther Castellani were both 21 when they got married.
(bcbooklook.com)

I came to know Rene quite well during his years at Matsqui Institution. Prior to his incarceration, he had been a highly regarded personality at Vancouver radio station CKNW and possessed exceptional PR skills. Unfortunately, his judgment became seriously impaired when he entered into a romantic relationship with a switchboard operator. He showed me photos of himself at a gala event attended by political and business elites He denied guilt to the end, but the evidence against him was deemed quite sufficient to convict him. Rene was paroled after 10 years, then died of cancer at age 57. Undoubtedly some innocent men were hanged prior to the moratorium.

Before the demolition of the B.C. Penitentiary, my duties at times called me into that foreboding institution of forlorn souls. On one occasion, a staff member escorted me through a spacious open area. Looking around, I saw only dull grey concrete. About a dozen disconsolate, grey clad men stood purposelessly around the perimeter. Their demeanor suggested they had no reason for hope or optimism. A skinny desiccated elderly man listlessly pushed a broad broom across the grey floor. The Penn has been torn down since then and some inmates were transferred to Matsqui Institution in rural Abbotsford. Here the atmosphere was less sombre and oppressive. Inmates could acquire work skills if they chose to. It was still prison, with two high wire fences topped by razor sharp wire. With no grey floors or walls though, it was a significant step up when compared with the dreary B.C. Penn.

At Matsqui, one inmate I came to respect was Albert, better known as Red. In his early 60’s, his copper coloured hair was tinged with grey. He had long supported his addiction to heroin with small scale trafficking. This “business” side of the heroin had landed him in several federal prisons. In spite of the many lost years, Red wasn’t devious or bitter and never attempted to use me to obtain favours. His responsibilities in the hobby shop gave him opportunity to talk without guards near by. He presented well and on escorted passes to purchase supplies for the hobby shop, he wore slacks and a sports jacket. At times his appearance and gracious manner led people to mistake him for a prison official.

Albert completed his sentence and returned to his usual haunts in Vancouver. At his age and lacking marketable skills, all he knew was trafficking. Heroin owned his soul. He sold a small quantity of the then highly illegal substance to an undercover officer and was sentenced to another 8 years. Laws concerning trafficking in even small amounts of heroin were much tougher then.

Over the years lawmakers have wrestled with our criminal justice system in an attempt to make it more humane and also more effective. Even so, as Canadian Senator Kim Pate has said, “Prisons are not treatment or mental health centers.” We’re allocating immense resources to redeem individuals who have been shaped by years of “jail house education.” Because of their criminal lifestyle and years of confinement, too often this is a futile effort.

Reflecting on Rene Castellani, the skinny inmate sweeping with a broad broom, and Albert at Matsqui Institution, I was prompted to ponder about the innocent, fresh faced youngsters in Similkameen schools today. Some will be lured into drug use and a life of crime. No government at any level has demonstrated the vision or will to forestall this likelihood. As a society, we need to allocate more funds to support parents, grandparents, schools and communities in their efforts to positively shape the thinking and actions of the next generation.

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Inspiration

Lotte’s Gift Stirred Me To Reflect

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Lotte Lee prepared her gift in this kitchen.

On our return trip to Hedley from Abbotsford last week, Linda and I had breakfast with our son and daughter-in-law in Lotte’s Luncheonette in Chilliwack. It’s a small Korean restaurant with only 5 tables. The congenial atmosphere fosters a sense of contentment and well being. We had been here before, usually on our way home. As always, Lotte welcomed us with a radiant smile and asked about our plans for the day. Once again, the breakfast she served us was delightful. Then, as we were about to leave, she presented Linda and me with a large coffee to go and 2 small specialty pancakes tucked into paper envelopes. A touch of cinnamon made them a delicious treat. “You have a long drive today,” she said, smiling broadly, “This is for your trip home.” Lotte’s gift made us feel quite special.

Lotte’s gesture reminded me of an observation in The Wind in my Hair, an autobiography by Iranian author Masih Alinejad. A friend told her, “People forget what you tell them, but they never forget what you do for them.”

As we negotiated the climbs, descents and curves of the Hope-Princeton later that morning, I realized Lotte’s gift made me feel worthy and lifted my spirits. It stirred in me the thought that over the course of my lifetime, I’ve been the beneficiary of some wonderfully life shaping interactions. Invariably, these encounters have been with individuals I respect for their integrity. It seems they had an innate, possibly unconscious desire to drop a pearl of blessing into my life.

As we passed the Manning Park lodge, my thoughts drifted many years into the past, when I was a late teen in my last year in school. Mr. Wally Klassen, the biology teacher realized I was struggling with his course. One day he asked me to stay behind after the class. “I can see this isn’t a strong area for you,” he said,”but if you put in the effort, I’ll make sure you pass.” A soft spoken man without guile or pretense, he evidently wanted to stand by this young student who had little aptitude for science. Now, many years later, I still deeply appreciate his desire to encourage me. A few years ago, just before Christmas, I called him, reminded him of what he had done, and thanked him. He didn’t remember me but he certainly was pleased to learn he had made a difference in my life. He was one of those all too rare individuals who has a vision for more than himself.

Sometimes a person’s words are a life impacting gift. In his latter years, my Dad was in a wheelchair due to a disabling fall. One day I took him to a classical concert in an Abbotsford church. Sitting several rows ahead of us I recognized Mr. Bill Wiebe, my former school principal. In a school that was then known to be strong in basketball, music and theatre, I had not done anything noteworthy. It was now many years later and I felt certain he would not remember me. After the program I introduced myself. “Yes, yes,” he said with enthusiasm. “I remember you. I read what you write in the local newspaper. Keep it up.” He was a man of immense authenticity, highly respected in the community. In this brief interaction he encouraged me to believe the views I was expressing publicly had value.

When I needed to transport several pieces of furniture from Princeton to Hedley some years ago, Gary Ross, a fellow Hedley resident, volunteered to haul them in his pickup. I accepted his offer gladly and said I would reimburse him for his time and expenses. He adamantly refused any payment. I still value this act of friendship and generosity.

Today, as I reflect on these and other priceless “gifts” that have come to me, I realize they have shaped my thinking and even the course of my life. I don’t consider it a stretch to say they have played a significant part in enabling me to believe I can dare more and do more. They have enriched my life immensely, and now I remind myself I have a responsibility and an opportunity to “pay it forward” and thereby enrich the lives of others.

Another look at Lotte in her kitchen located at #102-45645 Tamihi Way, Chilliwack, BC
Community

Bridging The Chasm With A Plate Of Cookies

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At Lukas’ door with a plate of cookies.

On a dark night last December, I was standing uncertainly at the front door of Lukas, my cross town neighbour. Before ringing the doorbell, I hesitated. Was I foolishly venturing too far into unfamiliar territory? I had never met Lukas, but I knew he was known in the community for racing around town in his car at night, laying long black strips of rubber, waking citizens from their peaceful sleep, and terrorizing anyone still on the streets. A lot of townspeople wished he’d go away, or be put away by a judge. Until recently he had been pretty lucky, but now the law was closing in. He was awaiting a court date for several serious driving infractions and had already demonstrated a lack of respect for conditions imposed by the judge.

I was acutely conscious of the chasm of values, experiences and lifestyle between us. Also, there was the matter of age. Lukas is only 20. My hair is as white as the snow on the mountain tops surrounding Hedley. Would he resent my unannounced intrusion into his life? Would I be rebuffed?

In one hand I held a small plate of Christmas cookies Linda had baked that morning. I hoped they might momentarily distract him from the chasm. I pressed the doorbell. A dog yelped excitedly, then the door opened.

I introduced myself and, holding the plate toward him asked, “do you like cookies?” Accepting the plate he said, “my grandpa loves treats. He’s here for a few days.”

I had anticipated suspicion, but he seemed surprisingly mellow and receptive. There was no edge or even a hint of hostility. Enboldened, I asked, “would you want to chat sometime?” “Anytime,” he replied, opening the door wide and motioning with his hand for me to come in. We talked for about 20 minutes, mostly about what had already been reported in the local media.

A couple of weeks later I had a conversation with Marvin, the grandfather. I learned Lukas had been very close to his mother until she passed away approximately half a dozen years ago. Losing her was a devastating event and his life began spiraling downward,

I had one more visit with Lukas. A few days later he was picked up by the police and will be in custody until his court date.

My experience with inmates in provincial and federal prisons causes me concern for Lukas and our community. As a society, our response to individuals like him suggests a lack of understanding, wisdom and creativity. Too often we fail to provide counselling and other assistance when they are young and likely less hardened. Courts impose probation, order community service and possibly sentence them to an all too brief program of rehabilitation that has inadequate resources. Then comes jail time.

I’m reminded of Simon, a 34 year old inmate I interviewed as part of a research project at Matsqui Institution. Like Lukas, his early associations and activities had pushed him to the periphery of society. Between brief jail terms, he managed to get married and father 2 sons. When he lost everything in a poker game, he had to tell his family they no longer had a home. Not having good work skills he fell deeper into a life of crime. By the time I met him he had become a hard core con, talking out the side of his mouth the way prisoners do in movies. All contact with his family and the outside world had been severed. When he was released on parole, he drifted back to his criminal associations and haunts in Vancouver.

Prison inmates are shaped by a subculture that makes them even less prepared to participate in the life and economy of mainstream society. Upon release, they frequently return to the community they had come from. If Lukas is placed in jail will he, like Simon, become steeped in criminal values, culture, attitudes, and lifestyle? This would be detrimental to him and also our community.

I’ve observed many times how difficult it is for anyone who has done time, even adolescents, to re-enter mainstream society. The younger and less experienced in criminal associations, the greater is the possibility of snatching them back, before the chasm becomes too wide and we can no longer reach them. Lukas will almost certainly return to Hedley. As individuals and as a society, we’d be wise to look for a more innovative response.

People

The Heartache of Child Abduction

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Jamie with her young children.

A recent telephone conversation with a young man gave me some understanding of the profound mental and emotional trauma experienced by internationally abducted children. Karim was 6 and his sister was 9 when their father abducted them to Saudi Arabia. “He told us we would not be going home,” Karim said, “and we would never see our mom again. He told us our mom didn’t want us anymore and she had sold us to him for a car. There were many lies.”

Saudi Arabia is not a member of the Hague Convention.

For Karim it was the beginning of a psychological and emotional nightmare. Now 34, he is still haunted by memories of the 7 years away from his mother, friends and all that was familiar to +him “It ruined my life,” he said. “I was in a country where I didn’t know people, attending an Arabic school. Before the abduction, I had been diagnosed with dyslexia. The school system didn’t deal with that. My reading and writing were poor. The teachers slapped me and told me I was dumb. The other kids harassed me because I was a foreigner. I got into a lot of fights. I was put in a different school every year.”

Kamir, before he was abducted.

As happens frequently in cases of abduction, Karim’s father wanted to turn him and his sister against their mother. “Your mother is a terrible person,” he told them. “I’m doing this for you guys to keep you safe, to give you a better life.”

According to Child Abduction Recovery International, “fostering parental alienation is the number one tool abductors use against the left behind parent. They do this by creating irrational fear of the other parent, and building up resentment. They discourage or don’t permit contact. Their goal is to eradicate the other parent from the child’s life.”

In a separate conversation, Karim’s mother, Jamie said, “I agreed to let their father take them on a safari in Kenya. It didn’t occur to me he would abduct them to Saudi Arabia. He signed documents with my lawyer and promised he’d call me everyday. It all meant nothing. In Saudi Arabia our laws have no power and women have no rights.”

Many mothers of abducted children never see them again. Karim and his sister were returned to Canada only because their father was unhappy and frustrated. Not being a Saudi citizen, he had few rights and struggled financially. Before their return to Canada, using a Canadian lawyer he demanded many concessions from Jamie including full custody, the dropping of kidnapping charges, and no media at the airport.

“My lawyer told me if I ever wanted to see my children again, I’d have to accept all the demands” Jamie said. “I agreed to everything just to get my children back. When I first saw them at the airport I was so overwhelmed with emotion, I collapsed.” “Don’t worry mom,” Karim said. “We’re home now.” Karim lived with his father at first but then came to her.

Writing on the Ontario Law blog, Lynn Kirwin paints a troubling picture of what can be experienced when a child has been subjected to programming designed to alienate them from a parent. “Children coming out of this experience are likely to suffer depression, loss of self-esteem, self hatred, guilt, poor interpersonal relationships, a distorted view of reality and self-doubt.”

Life for Karim since returning to Canada has continued to be difficult. “I still don’t read or write well,” he said. “I hide this but it’s something I struggle with every day. In spite of some tutoring and counseling, I feel I’m behind others my age.”

“I’m still pretty broken today,” he continued. “I shut down when things go badly. I blame my dad for this, for caring only about his future, not mine. He ruined my life.”

Karim’s sister doesn’t want her past known. Even her children, in-laws, and friends know nothing of the 7 years in Saudi Arabia. She denies it was a bad time.

For Karim and Jamie, the seven lost years are still a source of deep disquiet, but they have courageously persevered in restoring their relationship and rebuilding their lives. Karim has obtained vocational training at BCIT and finds his employment satisfying. They hope by telling their story they will persuade young women to ponder seriously and not recklessly plunge into a relationship that could bring tears, not joy. It is their fervent desire to spare others the heartache of child abduction.

Hedley Times, Inspiration, People

Will Hitching Post Restaurant Rise From Ashes?

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Trisha Mills & Bill Carmichael, before the fire.

When science fiction writer Ray Bradley said, “first you jump off the cliff, then you develop wings on the way down,” he could have had Trisha Mills and Bill Carmichael in mind. For them, purchasing the Hitching Post restaurant in Hedley last June marked the end of one chapter of their lives and the beginning of a new, unexpectedly uncertain one. The iconic restaurant burned to the ground one night and they had to jump from the second floor into a void of smoke and darkness. In two extended phone conversations with Bill and Trisha, Linda and I had an opportunity to look into their past and also explore the impact of the fire on their health, thinking, and future plans.

“We met online,” Trisha told us at the outset. “We were both looking for people who enjoy outdoor activities, When we connected, it was as friends initially. Our relationship really came together 8 years ago.”

Bill grew up on the family’s 100 acre ranch near Darfield, a tiny community about 50 miles north of Kamloops. “My Dad worked away a lot,” he said. “I helped with tending our chickens, sheep and cattle, including at birthing time. I also fixed and moved sprinklers on the hay field. At age 12 I studied a book on welding and went out to my Dad’s shop and learned to weld. On the side I fixed bicycles and lawnmowers. Even at that age I enjoyed reading technical manuals or the Princess Auto catalogue.”

He went on to take a motorcycle mechanics course, and subsequently attended BCIT where he became a millwright. Lafarge Canada hired him and assigned him to its Kamloops maintenance crew. In time, the company made him a maintenance and planning inspector. In this position, he travelled to Lafarge plants in other countries.

Trisha’s stepfather became ill and died when she was 9. “It was a trying time for Mom,” she recalled “We moved a lot and I needed to become more independent. Moving from Vancouver to Vancouver Island was a culture shock. Since then I’ve mostly lived in small communities.” She went on to run a restaurant. Then, wanting to be at home with her 2 children, she operated a licensed daycare for 10 years. Five years ago, after attaining a certificate in office administration at the Thompson Rivers University, she began forging a new career with a security company.

In 2014, Bill’s motorcycle accident brought radical change. “I was travelling at 100 kmh when a buck with 6 inch spikes came up from the river. I caught the deer in my chest and its face was in my face. I was able to park the bike without crashing it, probably because I’m pretty stubborn.” His left arm was shattered and his heart stopped, but he remained alive.

The injury ended his career as a millwright and they needed a new plan. Bill attended courses offered by Community Futures in Penticton. When Viktoria Braat of Hedley told them The Hitching Post restaurant was for sale, they investigated its potential and made the decision to buy it.

As has been extensively reported in the media, four months later at about 2 am on October 23rd of last year, a raging fire engulfed the restaurant. By leaping into the smoke and darkness they saved their lives, but sustained serious injuries.

Trisha & Bill, standing in front of their wheelchairs.

Now in Kamloops for medical attention and therapy, they are both still largely dependent on wheelchairs for mobility. Bill is able to walk limited distances with crutches and looks forward to using the walking stick he has carved. Trisha’s injuries are more complex. She uses a walker for balance and physio. Her open wounds are healing. The extent of nerve damage to her back will be assessed at the end of the month.

Banner on the security fence surrounding the lot where the Hitching Post Restaurant was located.

In spite of this huge setback, both are surprisingly upbeat. They are grateful for the considerable financial support received from the Hedley community and others. Also, for visits to Bill when he was in the Penticton hospital.

Will they rebuild the restaurant? “It will depend on our mobility,” Trisha said. “We miss the peace and quiet of Hedley and want to come back.”

“There’s a lot to consider,” Bill added. “We hope to rebuild, but we won’t be able to recreate the Hitching Post experience. Whatever happens, we’re in it together. Our situation isn’t insurmountable. We’re taking small steps toward a strong future.”

People

Help Bring Mia & Liam Back

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Liam & Mia

Linda & I have sent the note below to Prime Minister Trudeau, requesting he personally intervene to bring Mia and Liam, children of Abbotsford mom Shelley Beyak, back to Canada. They were abducted to Lebanon last March by their father. A government spokesperson  said Shelley  has been given consular support.

We ask readers to write the Prime Minister to urgently request his intervention, email ( pm@pm.gc.ca).  For more information, click The Curse Of International Child Abductions

Right Honourable Justin Trudeau

Dear Prime Minister,

I was very pleased when I heard you say recently, “Canada is always ready to stand up for the rights of women around the world.” Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland has said, “We have a record of supporting human rights.”

I was impressed when you very quickly agreed to provide a national home for Rahah Mohammed al-Qunun, the young woman who escaped from Saudi Arabia. Your government has also aggressively sought the release of Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor, the two Canadians arrested and detained in China.

My purpose in writing you is to draw your attention to the plight of Canadian children who are the victims of parental international abductions. In many instances it is the father of the children who has taken them without the agreement of the mother. In some countries the children have been taken to women have few, if any, rights. One such case currently in the news is that of Mia and Liam, the children of Abbotsford resident, Shelley Beyak. They were abducted to Lebanon in March 2018 by their father, Wissam Tarabichi, who has Lebanese and Canadian citizenship.

Shelley is currently in Lebanon, seeking to at least maintain her relationship with her children, and hoping to secure their return to Canada. Shelley’s objective is to bring a win/win resolution to this desperate circumstance.

Your words suggest a firm commitment on the part of your government to stand by women and children who have no power to advocate for their rights or to defend themselves. I therefore request that you intervene personally in this case to ensure the quick return to Canada of Mia and Liam.

I look forward to hearing what your government is doing in response to this situation.

Respectfully yours,

Art Martens

 

A small town perspective on people, community, politics and environment.