Hedley Drive-By Shooting

Targeted house on Daly Ave.

The illicit drug trade is well known for spawning turf wars. Brazen shootings are pretty common, sometimes in busy malls in daylight. But not in quiet Hedley, at least not until about 2 am last Friday.
The drive-by shooting targeting the drug house on Daly Avenue was likely not a case of competition for market share, but it was an indication that the drug trade invites volatility and danger.

Fortunately, in this case the four adults and one child in the house were not injured, but errant shots could have killed innocent individuals in neighbouring homes. Even for a professional sniper, shooting while driving is not an exact science.

Police have said the alleged shooter is a 35 year old male resident of Hedley. We’re a pretty close-knit community and some curious amateur sleuths in town have pieced together bits of information and scuttlebutt which they believe points to a well known individual. Apparently very early that morning a police cruiser was parked in front of a local home for some time. Also, the pickup truck owned by the alleged shooter was hauled away. Just about everyone in town would recognize the pickup. These two pieces of information point to the same individual. There may be more.

Some years ago, in our initial foray into the Similkameen Valley, we lived in the home where the cruiser was parked. It is troubling to me that the young man living here might be responsible for the shooting. I have always found him to be friendly, quite willing to chat, and certainly not someone I would have suspected. He’s a father and works in an industry that pays well.

What might motivate a seemingly rationale individual to engage in what could be construed as a vigilante action? News reports of such incidents almost invariably suggest gang involvement or a drug transaction gone wrong. But this is Hedley and the drug trade here is not all that sophisticated. Although we don’t know those who show up in cars from out of town, just about everyone recognizes the hapless addicted souls who routinely walk to the drug house. At this time we can only speculate as to motivation of the shooter.

One eye witness report after the shooting incident came from a woman walking her dog at about 6 am. “I saw the police lined up in front of the museum, about a block from the drug house,” she said. They were apparently confident our laws and court would back their actions. For Hedley citizens, it’s puzzling that an individual can be quickly dealt with by overwhelming force, but a “business” dealing in harmful illegal drugs cannot be easily touched.

The police are well aware of the concerns of residents regarding this life destroying malignancy festering in our midst. This causes me to wonder if as a society we are unwilling, or too apathetic, to provide them with the powers and means to take decisive action. Or do our elected representatives not deem our limited voting base worthy of their attention?

Police tape was in place for several hours.

Interestingly, immediately after the police tape was removed and the officers departed, it was noted that customers quickly appeared at the door of the drug house, cash in hand, ready to buy. It’s a galling situation and many Hedley citizens are frustrated, disgusted and angered by anemic laws and complacent politicians overly focused on retaining or attaining power.

Is there a solution for our community, or for any community, contending with a similarly troubling issue? I believe there could be, but it will require us to be more proactive than those who make our laws and govern us. The ideal answer might be to clone Greta Thunberg, the Swedish environmental activist. She would certainly have the courage and boldness to lead the charge on this issue. Failing that, we need a local individual to step forward and provide leadership. Currently, Hedley resident TJ Bratt has begun circulating a petition that will go to the provincial Solicitor General, Area G Director, and our MLA. I’ve been assured it will be in the Hedley Country Market this week. It’s a beginning. An opportunity to demonstrate our resolute opposition to this blight that is devastating lives in our
community.

Excavators Entertain On Daly Avenue

Excavators on Daly Avenue.

Working at opposite ends of a short trench on Daly Avenue in Hedley, two massive, muscular excavators have begun replacing a section of water line. Watching their long arms lower the enormous buckets to claw boulders out of the trench, I was reminded of a scene in George Lucas’ The Empire Strikes Back. At times the buckets worked in close quarters and I waited for them to slam into each other.

Drawing closer to the trench, I realized that two nimble, very alert men were down there, guiding the buckets. To me it seemed akin to entering a cage with a supposedly tame gorilla. A slight distraction on the part of an operator (such as the appearance of a pretty woman in a short skirt) could instantly end the working life of these men. I quickly concluded this is a job that requires steady nerves in the trench and on the machines. It certainly isn’t for the faint hearted.

When one of the excavators ceased working and the operator stepped down from the still idling machine, I approached him. In answer to my question, Jim said, “I’ve been operating for about 30 years. At the outset I had a choice of operating cranes or excavators. I didn’t want to spend my days alone high up in one of those tower cranes.” He said this project will take about 2 weeks to complete. In addition to digging the trench along Daly and laying the pipe, they will also cut trenches across the street and lay pipe to each residence.

When Jim got off his excavator, I asked him a few questions.

According to Lynn Wells, Chair of the Hedley Improvement District, the contractor will replace the line from Kingston Avenue to White Street, a distance of one block. “This kind of work is pretty expensive,” she said. “We’ve received $170,000 for this from the RDOS. The money originates from the provincial Gas Tax Fund. We applied for the funding when Elef Christensen was still an RDOS Director and he made the arrangements. The HID sets aside funds for emergencies, testing and maintenance. Saving up enough money for this type of project would take a decade. If there are leaks in the old, corroded steel line, this will eliminate them.”

It’s somewhat inconvenient for those living in the vicinity of the project. For anyone with too little to do though, watching the excavators can be an interesting diversion. It’s like having a two ring circus almost at our doorstep.

Kevin Demers Provides a Template for Success

Kevin Demers in his office at Holiday Trails Resort

He was wearing shorts and a casual, loose hanging shirt, and I could easily have concluded Kevin Demers was just one more man enjoying a comfortable retirement. At age 74 he appears not to be even thinking of retiring though. When I asked if what he is doing is still fun, he replied, “I love it!”

While still serving as an RCMP officer, Kevin launched his business career, albeit in a small way. He now owns 7 highly successful recreation centres, including Manning Park Resort and Sunshine Valley (just east of the Hope slide). In a 2 hour conversation with him at his Holiday Trails company headquarters, he talked about some of the decisions he made over many years, the risks and challenges, the successes, and much more. What he told me could serve as a template for anyone in leadership, or anyone wanting a more fulfilling life.

“As an RCMP officer I wasn’t allowed to run a business on the side at that time,” he began. “But I was permitted to build a house. I built 3 houses.” There seemed a hint of humour in his eyes. “My uncle and aunt owned a 17 site campground in Langley,” he continued. “In 1978 they were ready to retire and wanted me to buy it. This was against Mountie rules but we did it anyway. Initially we charged $4.00 a night for a family of four. I said the first day we bring in one hundred dollars we’ll open a bottle of champagne.”

Then the owner of Bedrock City at Bridal Falls said, “Kevin we desperately need a campsite.” Kevin purchased 25 acres nearby and created 45 sites. “We moved into a 14×70 foot trailer,” he said. “Shortly after launching this venture I arrived home from my RCMP job in Surrey and I didn’t see a single camper.” It wasn’t an encouraging beginning, a test of his capacity to persevere.

Another test came when he bought The Cedars RV Resort in Washington. “The police were in there on a weekly basis. Lots of drugs. It took us a year to clean it up. People think it’s easy, but it never is. Sunshine Valley took 5 years to get its head above water.” He was learning about patience.

Looking at Sunshine Valley Resort from Hwy 3 on Thanksgiving Day (2019).

Kevin knows the value of sound advice, and he listens to it. When he first considered acquiring Manning Park Resort, his friend Peter Sherle advised against it. Peter knew the equipment had fallen into serious disrepair and the reputation was tarnished. A bank appointed receiver took over when Manning went into bankruptcy. It was hemorrhaging $200,000 a year. The price dropped and Peter suggested another look. Recognizing the potential, Kevin made the move.

As Kevin talked it became clear he places a huge emphasis on creating an aura of quality and success. He wants to positively impact the perceptions of staff and visitors. “The receiver had let a lot of good people go,” he said. “We rehired the best ones. We also replaced the snow cats and trucks. Manning now has 4 buses and we’ve installed a new quad chairlift.”

He paused, then said, “Good service and a positive culture are vital in tourism. I learn by reading biographies and stories of success in business. When we travel in our motor home, I watch for good ideas. At In and Out Burgers in the U.S. I observed that workers are treated very well. The result is they are happy and friendly to customers. Their service has a 10 out of 10 rating. We tell our servers in the Manning Pinewoods Dining Room to make eye contact and ensure people feel welcome.”

Rebecca provided friendly service in the Pinewoods Dining Room, Manning Park Resort

How is Kevin’s vision playing out in the real world? For starters, he hasn’t needed the RCMP job for many years. When he returns to Holiday Trails now, he sees plenty of campers. Driving past Sunshine Valley several times this summer, I saw that the camp ground appeared filled to capacity. At Manning Park, even cabins now under construction are already fully booked. More important for Linda and me, when we had breakfast in the spacious Pinewoods dining room this summer, the portions were ample and pleasing to our palettes. Also, Rebecca, the young Irish waitress who served us was willing to engage in friendly conversation. With such an enviable track record, I’m not surprised Kevin is having fun. We can learn from him.

Visiting Manning Park Resort, this grandmother & her grandchildren are from Nanjing, China.

Elders Visit Hedley Museum

Henry Dennis Shared Stories From His 85 Years.

When 4 Elders from the Lower Similkameen Indian Band (LSIB) visited the Hedley Museum last Friday, memories flowed like wine at a wedding. Eighty-five year old Henry Dennis, oldest man on the reserve, came with an especially large reservoir of recollections. He spoke with the knowledge and authority of a patriarch. The others, Mona Heinrich, Kathy Allison and Tony Qualtier respectfully allowed him to take the lead and also contributed from their own history vaults. For the 5 museum members present, it was an opportunity to gain an understanding of the Elders’ personal experiences and also band values and history. We began huddled around a table in the Tea Room, eating lemon pie, drinking coffee, and listening to the Elders reminiscing.

We were surprised by Henry’s response to the question, “What was the happiest time in your life?” Without hesitation he replied, “The happiest time in my life was when I attended school in Hedley until I was 15.” Interestingly, Mona said it was also the time that provided the happiest memories for her.

When I asked if any of them trace their lineage back to the original Nora Allison, they were eager to talk about this legendary ancestor. “Kathy and I are both great grand daughters of Nora,” Mona responded. Henry added, “Nora was John Faul Allison’s first wife. When he married Susan, a white woman, he wanted to give Nora to his foreman. She resisted initially but in the end agreed. She taught Susan how to live in the wilderness, including how to chop wood, build a fire and prepare meals.”

Nora Allison became famous for her pack train, bringing supplies from Hope to Princeton, Keremeos and beyond. According to Mona, she had 20 mules. The actual number may not really be known. Another great granddaughter told me several years ago she thought Nora’s team had consisted of approximately 40 horses. Whatever the number, she’s been a courageous and inspiring role model for her people.

Tony Qualtier still lives in the house he was born in.

Tony seemed content to let the others talk, but he was quite happy to answer questions. “I was born in a house in Chopaka,” he said. “I’ve lived in the same house my whole life. I became a rancher, but a stroke made it hard to carry on.” Although he walks with a cane, his enthusiasm for life seems not to have been dampened. Kathy also mostly listened. We did learn she was born in the old hospital in Tenasket, Washington and is the sister of Nancy (Nan) Allison, who is well known here.

Henry told us about a time in his early life when his mother instructed him to dig up roots. “It was hard work,” he recalled, “but I noticed the muskrats were digging them up too and leaving them out to dry. I decided it was a lot easier to steal some of theirs than to do the work myself.” As an adult he went on to become a rancher and could no longer depend on muskrats to do the work. He still owns a ranch.

Mona, who lives across the highway from the iconic “Standing Rock” between Hedley and Keremeos, offered a few insights into her life as a child. “When I started school I spoke only Okanagan, no English. My father said I had to attend school so I’d be able to manage my affairs when I grew up.”

Mona Heinrich & her cousin, Kathy Allison.

Mona, Kathy and Tony accepted an invitation to visit the media room. Here the photo albums evoked pleasant memories and some surprises. “We used to go to the dance at the Community Hall in Hedley on Boxing Day,” Mona recalled. “We had lots of fun.” Turning the page in an album she said excitedly, “Look, there is the present Nora Allison. I was born in her home!” Then, quite surprised, she exclaimed, “Oh my goodness, here I am!” On many pages she and Kathy recognized people from their long ago past.

After almost 3 hours it was time for them to leave, but Mona had one more story. “My great- grandmother was a tough lady,” she said. “When she heard about a man who physically abused his wife, she went after him with a stick and gave him a real beating. ‘Do you like it? Do you like it?’ she asked. He didn’t and she warned him to never beat his wife again.”

Then there was a flurry of handshakes and hugs and the Elders departed, promising to return.

Robert Mellalieu, Optimistic Candidate for Green Party

Robert Mellalieu, optimistic Green Party candidate.

Over the past four years I’ve become increasingly disenchanted by the vast gulf between the positive, “sunny ways” statements of our outgoing government, and the lack of follow through. My awareness of this chasm has undoubtedly been sharpened by the words of former Rutgers University professor, Ashley Montagu. He wrote, “If you want to know what people believe, don’t read what they write, don’t ask what they believe, just observe what they do.”

With these thoughts swirling somewhere in the bowels of my subconscious mind, I noted the black Smart Car in the parking lot of the Hedley Seniors’ Centre last Wednesday. It belonged to Robert Mellalieu, local candidate for the Green Party. He had arrived from West Kelowna shortly after 7 am to meet with the early morning coffee group. Although people were already leaving when I showed up at 8, Rob immediately agreed to a one on one conversation.

Wondering if his words were supported by his choices and actions, I referred to the Smart Car. He appeared relaxed, but immediately fully engaged. “My wife also drives one,” he said, then added, “in summer we use a washline to dry clothes. In winter we have laundry hanging everywhere in the house.” That seemed to suggest he is about more than just talk. I was impressed by the discipline and commitment required to be here so early.

When I asked why he is running for the Green Party a second time, he jokingly said, “No one else wanted to. They’re all scared off by my competence.” He smiled, then said, “running for Green isn’t a joke anymore. People are beginning to understand there’s something to this.”

Rob doesn’t have the financial resources for a campaign like that of the major parties. He has demonstrated commitment and belief by putting in $1,000 of his own money, Another $1,500 has come from supporters. “People have given time to my campaign,” he said. “A couple of youths were a great help to me in summer. I also have a strong presence on social media.”

He is well known, especially in the Kelowna area. His public experience includes the Ambassador Program, Rotary, Chamber of Commerce, Big Brothers, a men’s recovery program and Toastmasters. In his work life he operates a business assisting people with computer issues.

Although he doesn’t have big league political experience, Rob does have a pretty decent grasp of issues. He’s keenly interested in economics. “One reason for running in this election is the long term economic issues,” he emphasized. In regard to the environment, he believes we’re making progress, “but it’s painfully slow. We need to make humungous changes weekly.” Current reports of glaciers melting and threatening communities, destruction of fisheries, rising ocean levels, and other impending calamities make it clear his concerns are based on reality.

“We need strong leaders,” he added. “Trudeau didn’t do it. He bought a pipeline. Politicians aren’t telling people the reality. Talk is cheap.”

I asked about Green Party leader, Elizabeth May. “According to polls she’s the most respected party leader in the country,” he responded with enthusiasm. “She has twice been voted Parliamentarian of the Year by fellow MPs.”

Rob seems genuinely optimistic about his chances of doing well in the vote. “It’s important we get a bigger slice of the political pie.” He paused, then added, “That will enable us to be more effective in shaping policies.”

I’m not ready for a Donald Trump type of shake up in Canada, but there’s certainly room for more integrity and greater trust. On one matter particularly close to my own heart, the Liberals have performed dismally. Justin Trudeau and Chrystia Freeland have boasted about supporting the rights of women and children everywhere. They have made no discernible effort, however, to retrieve the approximately 250 Canadian children who have been abducted to other countries by one of their parents.

Would Andrew Sheer be a better fit as Prime Minister? In spite of recent massive expressions of concern by youths regarding the environment, his response has been lackluster.

Should we be looking to the Green Party to lead us in a better direction? I don’t know, but Robert Mellalieu would like an opportunity to demonstrate they are a viable alternative. At this time the odds are not in their favour, but then, Greta Thunberg started the present worldwide protest movement as one 15 year old girl standing outside the Swedish parliament.

Nick Conquers The Pacific Crest Trail

Nick conquered the Pacific Crest Trail.

When Linda and I stopped in Manning Park last week, my attention was immediately drawn to a young man standing alone beside an oversized back pack. His lean physique, black beard and the bulky pack suggested to me he wasn’t a casual camper. I introduced myself, then asked, “Have you been camping in the park?” “My name is Nick,” he said, “I’ve just come off the Pacific Crest Trail. I started at the Mexican-U.S. Border.”

I’ve encountered intrepid souls like Nick in the past and have invariably experienced a sharp twinge of envy. Although I’ve canoed, portaged and camped in rugged wilderness, in my mind the Pacific Crest Trail is like playing in the big leagues. According to the Pacific Crest Trail Association website, “The Trail traverses 4,286 km. (2,665 mi.), mostly in rugged remote wilderness. It rises to 4,009 m. (13,153 ft). You will be on your own and safety is your responsibility.”

“Dangers may include lightning strikes, cold weather, falling rock, swift flowing streams and wild animals. Also, there’s the possibility of encountering unfriendly men with guns guarding illegal cannabis grow sites along the way, especially in California. There may be no cell service for days, or weeks. There are basically no businesses, huts or facilities, and only minimal signage.”

The website offers essential advice for anyone wanting to challenge the Trail. “You can minimize risk with knowledge, equipment and planning. Take an orienteering class and carry paper maps and a compass. Never rely solely on digital devices. Sunscreen, lip balm, a sun hat, long sleeved shirts are also important. Carry and know how to use a decently stocked first aid kit. Take 2 lighters, matches in a waterproof container and fire starter for emergencies.” For anyone planning to hike the Trail, the website is a good place to start.

Nick’s accent prompted me to ask if he was from elsewhere, “Yes,” he replied. “My home is in Munich, Germany. I came especially to hike the trail. My first day was March 29. I hiked through 500 km. of snow in the Sierra mountains.” He said it matter of factly as though it had been an expected hurdle, not something to complain about.

Only age 22, Nick is beginning to challenge himself at a good time in his life. Prior to taking his first steps on the trail, he needed to do the extensive preparation, which included coping with the myriad expectations of U.S. bureaucracy. Hikers from other countries are usually interviewed by a representative of the U.S. State Department. In addition to complex hoops at the national level, hikers must also acquire permits to pass through some local jurisdictions. Due to the length of time and distance, it isn’t possible to carry enough food and other supplies for the entire expedition. Fortunately Nick, like other hikers, was able to arrange for shipments to gas stations and other places not far from the trail. One critical aspect of his preparation was to ensure he would be off the trail and out of the U.S. within the 6 months allowed by his passport. It was a lesson in detailed planning, preparation and persistence.

Nick’s words and demeanor told of the immense sense of fulfillment and victory he was experiencing. Talking with him reminded me of the brain cancer patient who said, “give yourself a chance. Live like you are living, not like you are dying.” It also reminded me of a time early in our marriage when Linda and I seriously contemplated cycling across Canada. What a great adventure and education that would have been! But we were diverted by the pressure of mortgage payments and other responsibilities. The cycling trip remained a dream.

Nick evidently had the vision and discipline to make his trek a reality. Almost certainly, like the brain cancer patient, he believed that to live a vibrant life it’s important to abandon the places where we are comfortable and feel safe. He was willing to take a chance, push his limits and explore his staying power. The Pacific Crest Trail was likely a life altering adventure. It’s a tad late for me, but I can, and do, rejoice that he had the courage and will to get it done.

Volunteer And Avoid A Lacklustre Life

Peggy Terry welcoming people & selling tickets at the pancake breakfast.

I have many times observed people smiling broadly, in some cases gently massaging stomachs, after enjoying the monthly pancake breakfast at the Hedley Seniors’ Centre.  A full breakfast includes 2 pancakes, 2 eggs and 2 sausages or strips of bacon. At $5.00 per plate, it’s a deal no restaurant can match. This month 140 patrons from all over the Similkameen Valley indulged. Popular and highly affordable, this meal is made possible by big hearted, unpaid local citizens, some well into the seventh decade or beyond. At the grill or scurrying about delivering plates of delicious hot food, they bring a note of cheer into the lives of their customers. Volunteers everywhere have this uplifting effect on their community.

When I heard that Peggy Terry, one of these stalwart community minded citizens has a for sale sign in front of her home and will soon leave Hedley, I wondered about the future of the pancake breakfast. I also experienced a twinge of anxiety for the Hedley Museum, Community Club, Fire Department and Hedley Improvement District (HID). As in most small towns, the doors of these organizations are kept open almost entirely by volunteers. They are a blessing to their community, but there are rarely enough of them. If too many younger individuals choose to remain uninvolved, will there be a pancake breakfast in 5 years? Will the museum continue to tell the story of our community’s past and serve lemon and apple pie and coffee? Will we have competent trustees in the HID? We need to be aware that everywhere many committed, contributing citizens like Peggy Terry are approaching an age when they will need to retire.

Recently Lynn Wells sent a letter to members of the Hedley community telling us we are needed to help at the Seniors’ Centre. She didn’t receive even one response. Is the next generation too immersed in personal pursuits to understand the benefits of accepting the baton that is being offered to them?

Very likely many people do not understand there are myriad benefits. Some are highly personal. The smile adorning Peggy’s face while greeting people arriving at the pancake breakfast suggests serving others gives her a joy that overrides even the significant discomforts of arthritis. In a recent conversation in our home she said, “I’ve had plenty of fun in my volunteer roles over the years, and I’ve met lots of great people.”

For young individuals volunteering can be an effective means of exploring career interests and giftings. It may opens doors to employment interviews. For me
volunteering set the direction for much of my entire career. While still a student at SFU I became a volunteer with an organization helping prison inmates prepare for re-entry into their community. In addition to interacting with inmates, I developed relationships with prison counsellors, custody officers, and parole officers. After graduating, a key position in the organization opened. The board of directors decided my experience and connections had prepared me for this role.

Serving our community offers opportunities to develop skills and understandings that enable us to go beyond our self imposed limits. I was still young and had much to learn when I was invited to become a member of the Matsqui Institution Citizens Advisory
Committee. The other members were already well established in careers. Among them were a realtor, radio broadcaster, and parole officer. Sitting in the prison board room with these seasoned individuals I learned some important lessons while negotiating with prisoners and with prison personnel. This early experience has helped me many times in other committee situations and in one-on-one interactions.

At times we may feel inadequate for a particular role. Anita Roddick, founder of “The Body Shop” counters this fear with the advice, “If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”

For individuals trapped in unfulfilling employment or lacklustre retirement, volunteer service can be uplifting emotionally and psychologically. In “Tribe”, Sebastian Junger says, “Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they thrive on it. What they do mind is not feeling necessary.” In Hedley, and almost certainly in every Similkameen community, there exist an abundance of challenging, important roles that will help us feel necessary. Now that the summer sun is no longer luring us to the beaches, it’s a great time to expand our horizons and create communities people enjoy.

Free Helicopter Rides In Hedley

Gary Lecomte of Hedley,
a generous citizen.

It’s virtually unheard of for anyone to offer free helicopter rides to fellow citizens, but Gary Lecomte of Hedley has been doing it for several years. When I heard it would be happening again this past Saturday, I went to the ball park where the chopper would alight and take on passengers.

I found Gary, age 74, sitting on a concrete curb, seemingly not intending to go up himself. When I asked about this he said, “I’ve been doing this for years. I do it to make people happy. I won’t fly today.”

The chopper was provided by Eclipse Helicopters of Penticton and flown by veteran pilot Derek Robinson. Company engineer, Joshua Tomlin, was also present. In total there were four flights, each of about fifteen minutes duration. Passengers were given a quick tour up and down the Similkameen Valley, then were treated to a close-up view of the Mascot Mine and the open pit Nickel Plate mine. The cost to Gary is $21OO per hour. The entire event lasted about 2 hours, including flying to and from Hedley. “It’s just money,” Gary said. Once again he emphasized, “I just want people to be happy. The town has been good to me and I want to give something back.” He’s been battling a health challenge for several years and seems to have gained an understanding of what is genuinely important.

Talking with Josh while waiting for the first flight to return, I learned that helicopters are pretty pricey. “Our company has 4 choppers,” Josh said. “This one is about 2.5 million new. Replacing just the motor runs at approximately half a million. The three rotor blades are $90,000 per blade.” It makes a Lexus seem inexpensive.

A couple of children, about age 4, were on the first flight. When they disembarked I asked if they had enjoyed the ride. They seemed to have been quite overwhelmed by the experience. Neither answered my question. I’m not sure they even heard or saw me.

Nineteen individuals took advantage of the free ride offer, including one woman who said, “flying in a helicopter has been on my bucket list for years.”

Aunt Nettie’s Family “Roll Kuchen” Gathering

Aunt Nettie, relaxing in her carport & waiting for family members to arrive.

Writing in the Wall Street Journal, U.S. Senator (Rep.) Ben Sasse pointed to a societal phenomenon many of us may have been too preoccupied to notice. He suggested “all the traditional tribes that have sustained humans for millennia are simultaneously in collapse. Family, enduring friendships, meaningful shared work, local communities of worship, all have grown ever thinner.” Other commentators, both in Canada and the U.S., have expressed a similar concern. Certainly the various media do reflect a lessening of social cohesion and we might wonder if we can do anything more than wring our hands and retreat into a state of denial and malaise.

My 88 year old Aunt Nettie, a resident of Kelowna, apparently does not intend to surrender to the subversive forces undermining our values and institutions. Every summer, for at least twelve years she has invited her nieces and nephews to her home for roll kuchen ( rolled dough cut into strips and deep fried) and watermelon, as well as other goodies. Aunt Nettie harbours no illusions about reforming and holding together the structures of our nation. She’s a plucky lady of immense resolve though, and understands the importance of cinching up family bonds. Last week she again prepared many dozens of roll kuchen. Although we knew from past years there would be no beer, wine, whiskey or other alcoholic beverages, she had no difficulty enticing eager relatives to the feast.

Aunt Nettie & her niece Martha, who did the deep frying of the roll kuchen.

For some years, four of Aunt Nettie’s aging siblings attended. This has connected us with the foregoing generation. At this time, two are still living, but only 93 year old Uncle Abe was able to come. He has completely lost the ability to speak, but still values the time with family.

For Linda and me, these yearly Kelowna gatherings are an opportunity to strengthen relationships with cousins, and at times meet family members we scarcely know. We sit on lawn chairs placed around the interior of her carport. Young children play contentedly in our midst and on the back lawn.

A few years ago Aunt Nettie’s Metis foster daughter, Andrea, surprised us when she rolled in from Clearwater on her Harley. Wanting to get to know this cousin I had not spoken with previously, I quickly slipped into the vacant chair beside her. She intrigued me with snippets of a pretty adventurous life.

This year I again chatted with Erika, a young teen who raises chickens. It was a continuation of a conversation we had begun several years ago. Having had chickens in our back yard in the past, I enjoy her enthusiasm for the birds. “I got 12 chicks in spring,” she said. “I named each one after a type of tree.” Sensing her excitement, I remembered the warm brown eggs I used to gather each morning. Chats with Erika always cause me to wonder why I don’t still have chickens.

After talking with Erika I glanced around the carport and my attention was captured by a young girl with black hair. About age 3, she ran among us with boundless energy. She seemed happy and content, and totally secure. I marveled at the atmosphere in this place. There was no disagreement or bickering, even among the children.

Uncle Abe & Aunt Nettie, seated side by side, with several family members

Watching Aunt Nettie now in conversation with Uncle Abe, her hand resting on his arm, my mind drifted back a dozen years to the beginning of his health crisis. When she learned her brother wasn’t well and needed to be rescued from the basement suite in Langley where he lived alone, she took decisive action. She drove from her home in Kelowna, emptied and cleaned his unit, then took him to her home. She looked after him until his condition necessitated a higher level of care. Even now, although he cannot speak, she visits him each Sunday. For us, the next generation, she is a role model exemplifying the meaning of commitment to family.

After the Kelowna gathering, it occurred to me we’re pretty fortunate to have a family member with the vision and will necessary to pull together this large flock. Families are the basic building blocks of our society. If more of us become willing to be proactive role models, we may yet be able to thwart at least some of the corroding forces in our country. Roll kuchen may not be essential. With will and imagination, one individual can be the catalyst required for holding a family together.

Hitching Post Restaurant, Still A Possibility?

Trisha Mills & Bill Carmichael, owners of the former Hitching Post Restaurant

When a raging fire swept through their popular Hitching Post Restaurant in Hedley at about 2 am October 23,2018, it was only by leaping from the second floor into smoke and darkness that Bill Carmichael and Trisha Mills escaped the inferno. Since that catastrophic life altering night, they have battled to reconstruct virtually every aspect of their existence, including their health. There have been many questions concerning their recovery and whether they have plans to rebuild.

The popular Hitching Post Restaurant, destroyed by fire in October, 2018.

Last week I invited Bill and Trisha to our home for coffee and Linda’s freshly baked matrimonial cake. I recalled that in a conversation with them in February, although they were in wheelchairs and living with pain, I had been impressed by their courage and optimism. They both expressed a powerful resolve to regain the capacity to walk. Bill talked about again being able to drive. Having known individuals who threw up their hands in the face of seemingly insurmountable circumstances, I wondered if Bill and Trisha were still as hopeful as they had been.

Trisha & Bill using walking sticks hand carved by Bill.

When they arrived we were pleased to note they were walking, albeit cautiously, each using a walking stick for balance. Our first questions concerned the state of their physical recovery. “I’m finished my physio sessions and I walk in nature to improve my balance,” Bill said. “I’ve lost a lot of muscle in my legs. I need 2 more operations on my knees, plus another to fuse one ankle. Then there will be a further 6 months of recovery.” I detected no hint of lament or complaint.

We’ve come a long way physically, but we’re not there yet,” Trisha added. “I have 2 plates in my back. I had significant nerve damage and my feet feel cold, plus there is tingling. I go for physio once a month and do exercises on my own.” With evident delight she added, “the screw is gone from my heel and I can put weight on it now.”

Bill and Trisha are currently living in a small seasonal trailer. I wondered how she can do exercises in such cramped quarters. “We are learning to make do with what we have,” she said.

When the restaurant burned,” Bill explained, “we lost the possessions closest to us, including family pictures and momentos. We’ve learned we really don’t need a lot of belongings. We feel there is benefit in a simpler life.”

It was evident they had discussed this at considerable length. It wasn’t just a means of consoling themselves. “Not having what we had isn’t a big thing,” Trisha agreed. “It has clarified what is really important to us. What is of real value is being alive, having health, mobility, family and friends. In the past we took these too much for granted. Moving forward, we don’t want to clutter our lives.”

Our conversation turned to whether the Hitching Post will rise from the ashes. “People are telling us they hope we’ll start over, and we want to,” Bill said. “The way our bodies are working will determine that. We can’t put a date on it.”

We talk about the future pretty much every day,” Trisha added. “We understand very clearly that to operate a busy restaurant, our mobility will need to increase significantly. Even so, we are looking for ideas that could make it possible.”

People are giving us suggestions,” Bill said. “We’ve talked about having more efficient equipment. We’ll need a better dishwasher.”

To this time they have received only a partial payout from their insurance company and there have been snags in their negotiations. “Until recently, our thinking was clouded by the heavy doses of drugs we were given to combat pain. Now we are better able to understand the company’s written communications to us, and we realize there are inaccuracies.” Receiving the full payout will be important in any future plans.

Since the fire I’ve been asked repeatedly, either in person or on my blogsite, “Do you think they will rebuild the Hitching Post?” When I say it will depend on Bill and Trisha’s health, especially their mobility, the questioner is invariably disappointed. What we all desire is an answer that includes the word “yes.” Bill and Trisha live with this uncertainty every day. From the beginning the odds have been against them, but I’m convinced that if mere mortals can produce this miracle, they having the thinking, resolve and patience to get it done.

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