The name Mary Allison is well known in our community. She was a descendant of John Faul Allison and his indigenous wife, Nora. John Faul was the first white settler in this valley. Nora ran a pack train carrying groceries and other supplies from Hope through inhospitable mountainous terrain to Princeton and beyond. To this day she is revered for her courage and independent spirit. John Faul subsequently married a Caucasian woman, but it is Nora’s offspring who make up much of the Allison clan.

A few weeks ago Mary’s life was snuffed out when the pickup truck in which she was a passenger careened off Highway #3 near Bromley Rock. The vehicle plunged into the Similkameen River and she was unable to extricate herself.

Linda and I have had only limited contact with the Allison family. When Mary’s mother, Christine Allison announced there would be a wake in her home, we felt an urging to attend, but wondered if this would be appropriate. Would the people view us as curious outsiders intruding on a sacred gathering of their people? Linda said she felt somewhat uneasy about going, and I had similar thoughts. We did feel, however, it was important for the Hedley community to show support and compassion, so in spite of misgivings, we decided to go.

Christine and her husband Rick Holmes live on the local reserve. We found their home at the end of a long driveway running parallel to the Similkameen River. It’s an idyllic setting with a splendid view of the valley and mountains.

When we arrived we saw men sitting or standing around a fire. Some Indigenous communities light a fire to honour the individual who has passed from this world. A handful of people near the house greeted us and we asked if we could participate in the wake. They assured us we were welcome and one of the young women led us into the home. Arriving at the top of a short flight of stairs, we saw that the living room, dining room and kitchen were fully occupied. Upon seeing us, there was an immediate stirring. A couple of chairs became vacant and we were invited to sit down. Several individuals greeted us warmly and we quickly felt at ease and welcome.

They were just completing prayers for Mary. Ramona, who has a strong pleasant voice, then led the group in singing several hymns. We sensed that people wanted to support and bless the grieving family.

After the singing it was announced that there was plenty of food and we were urged to fill our plates. “We just finished supper,” Linda said. “We don’t have room to eat now.” Carrie Allison, a respected and much loved Elder said, “Go ahead and fill your plates. You can take them home and eat later.” We followed her suggestion and one of the ladies took the plates and carried them to our car.

Christine had stepped outside and we met her there. She told us that a few days before the accident Mary had said she was wondering about what career would be suitable for her. Her journey through the teenage years had been fraught with difficulties. Now, at age 19 she was beginning to think positively about her future.

As we negotiated the long dirt driveway back to the highway, we realized we had benefited greatly from the warmth and congeniality we had experienced. We had hoped to bless, and had been blessed ourselves.

I was immediately aware of an animated buzz of conversation when Linda and I entered the Lower Similkameen Indian Band Family Centre in Cawston. Approximately 40 Elders were already seated at two long tables, obviously delighted to see their friends. I sensed an aura of mutual respect and reverence, and also joy.

We had been invited by Stella Snow, who for some years has been a force in organizing social functions for Elders. She’s a lady with the will and skill to get things done. “Each month we meet to celebrate the birthdays of Band Elders,” she told us. “We have a meal and then we usually play disco bingo. Today an Elvis impersonator will perform for us.”

This month Stella was one of half a dozen Elders celebrating birthdays. I asked her to tell us about herself. “I was born in Merritt,” she began. “My birth mother had a problem with alcohol and couldn’t look after me and my twin brother. At six weeks we were sent to live with Teresa Squakin, a childless woman in the Lower Band. She didn’t adopt me formally, but she was very good to me and became my mother. She took in quite a few children. Being fluent in the Okanagan tongue, this is what we spoke in our home. When I started school I didn’t speak English and my teachers scolded me and twisted my ears for speaking Okanagan. For my mother it was not an easy time. There was no family allowance and we didn’t have electricity. To wash clothes we used a washboard. My birth mother showed no interest in me and I saw her only once.”

Now confident and articulate, she isn’t content to just watch others making things happen. “I cooked for up to 5,000 people at a National Conference in Edmonton,” she said. “I try to involve Elders in events. I brought 12 Elders to the National Conference. We teamed up with the Penticton Band. They rented a Greyhound bus and we paid them one hundred dollars each.”

Stella worked as an alcohol treatment counselor, and also as a homemaker. For some years she was a foster mother but needed to back away from this when she was diagnosed with cancer. She underwent treatment, then undaunted, again plunged wholeheartedly into band activities. Being fluent in the Okanagan language she is a translator for the band.

Noticing that people were beginning to line up for the buffet, Stella urged us to join them. Various Elders had contributed their specialty and it was a tantalizing array. I was pleased when I saw that Margaret Thomas had brought her fried bread. She’s a master of the craft and I felt lucky to get a piece.

When we had tucked as much food as possible into our stomachs, including a generous slice of delicious birthday cake, it was time to step back into the past with Levi Bent, the Elvis impersonator. I had talked with him briefly before the meal and had found him to be quiet spoken and modest, at best a low key version of Elvis. When he stepped to the mike though, his persona became instantly transformed, as though a bolt of lightning had energized him.

Levi performed popular tunes like “Don’t be Cruel, Falling in Love with You, and Don’t Step on my Blue Suede Shoes.” His intricate foot work and body moves were classic Elvis. I was reminded of the days when the famed entertainer induced heights of ecstasy and giddiness in teeny boppers, and even swooning. We were an approving audience. Some Elders sang along or just nodded their heads with the music. When Levi sang a verse of “You’re Nothing But a Hound Dog” in the Okanagan tongue, we were all delighted.

Later I asked Levi about his onstage persona. “Elvis is my main influence,” he said, “also dancing in Pow Wows.” He’s a member of the LSIB.

Levi’s parents were present. “A couple of years ago Levi attended an Elvis impersonators concert,” his mother told me. “When he came out of there he was convinced he could do that.

Watching Levi perform, eating Margaret’s fried bread and other sumptuous dishes, having conversations with Elders and hearing the Okanagan language, for Linda and me it was an uplifting, soul enriching experience.

Joining with people of other cultures and traditions can be a delightful, soul enriching experience. When the Upper Similkameen Indian Band recently posted an invitation to its celebration of Aboriginal Day of Wellness, Linda and I knew immediately we wanted to be there. We thought it would be a low key affair, with the possibility of getting to know some band members. It was a pleasant surprise to learn there would be a formal program and a sumptuous sit down meal.

We didn’t anticipate the congenial, up beat, fun atmosphere. Plenty of smiles made it clear these people had come to have a good time. Even more important to us, a number of band members gave us a warm welcome.

The event took place last Wednesday at the USIB’s Centre on Snaza’ist Street on the periphery of Hedley. Fifty two enthusiastic guests attended, including a number of children and youths, plus at least half a dozen individuals from the Hedley community. We were impressed by the way the evening’s activities were ably coordinated by Shauna Fox, head of the band’s Home and Health Care program.

Prior to the meal, band member Oly Bent offered a reverential, heartfelt prayer of gratitude to the Creator. He followed this with a traditional welcome song, accompanying himself on a hand drum.

In a lively, well received talk, Clint Holmes explained how he had dug a pit, lined it with rocks and cooked the moose and elk that were on the menu. He said he had assisted with pit cooking twice in the past, but this was his first time doing it alone.

Guests were invited to select from an elaborate array of dishes, consisting of traditional Indigenous cuisine, laid out on a large table. Along with other elders, the small Hedley contingent was served by 2 congenial young men, Kelly and Kennedy Fox-Zacharias. Respectful and competent, these clean cut young men introduced themselves and made us feel honoured. They would almost certainly be coveted by any high class, big city restaurant.

Shauna Fox explained later it is an aboriginal custom to serve elders first. The young servers delivered to each guest a platter laden generously with Aboriginal style chili, topped with chopped lettuce and tomatoes, sour cream and salsa, all on a slice of delicious, mouth watering fried bread. The bread had been prepared by much loved and respected local elder, Carrie Allison, wife of departed Chief Slim Allison. The frying, which required 6 hours of intensive labour in a hot kitchen, was done by Mary Allison under Carrie’s guidance.

Of particular fascination for Linda and me, and the other Hedley attendees seated at our table, was the soap berry ice cream (sxuxm), also made by Carrie. We learned from her that the main ingredient is soap berries, which can be picked, usually at higher altitudes, in the Similkameen Valley. Water and sugar are added and this concoction is whipped into a delightful, crowd pleasing dessert. A couple of Hedley citizens were observed enjoying a second, rather generous helping of the ice cream at the close of the event.

One lucky guest, Brenda Wagner, was pleased to win a 19 inch television in a draw. We were surprised when Linda’s name was drawn for a high quality barbeque. We’ve never had much luck in draws. Linda has decided she will donate the barbeque back to the band for its own use or as a fund raiser. Several children also won prizes.

As people were leaving, a happy buzz suggested they felt they had participated in a significant, joyous event. Certainly that was the sentiment of the Hedley people. We had been graciously and respectfully received.

I have come to think of celebrating a special day with another culture as a privilege and an education. In this case it was an opportunity to come to a deeper understanding of who our neighbours are and what they value. I respect their fervent desire to pass on their traditions, customs, values, history and wisdom to future generations. In society generally, there often isn’t this understanding that it’s important to retain what has been learned and taught by elders.

With continued effort, good will and willingness, events like Aboriginal Day of Wellness could further strengthen the relationship between the band and the Hedley community. As we celebrate 150 years of nationhood, it’s a good time to become better acquainted with our neighbours.