The challenge of directing a little white ball on a golf course tends to forge deep bonds of friendship. This was certainly the case for Kalvin and his three golfing companions. Beginning in the late 1990’s they played for years at a popular golf course in Langley each weekend. Corky came to Kalvin’s home on Wednesdays to play pool. These were relationships Kalvin valued greatly and he expected them to last to the end of their days.
Five years ago Kalvin and his wife moved to the Similkameen Valley. Last week, sitting on his deck, he told us a story that mingled commitment, friendship, honour and betrayal.
“I had heard on the news one day that someone had won $42 million in the lottery,” he began. That Saturday on the golf course with his partners, he said, “I feel lucky today. I bought a lottery ticket. If I win $40 million, I’ll give you each a million. Plus you can each pick a golf course anywhere in the world and I’ll fly us and our families there. I’ll pay for all expenses, including golfing fees, hotel rooms and meals. Everything.”
For Corky (not his real name), the idea was especially exhilarating. “Let’s all start buying tickets,” he urged. “ If one of us wins $40 million, the other three will each get one million. If the prize is $20 million everyone gets $500,000.” They all embraced the proposal with enthusiasm. It added an additional element of excitement to their friendship. Later, in the club house they confirmed and celebrated their pledge to each other, beginning with beer. Then Corky, still exuberant, ordered 4 shooters. They raised their glasses and cheered.
Over the years and many rounds of golf, they had become close and trusted each other without reservation. They felt no need to commit the arrangement to paper. On the course, and in the club house over a few beer at the end of playing, they often talked about their pact and what they would do with the money. They viewed their compact as ongoing into the future.
“I grew up in a home where truth and honesty were all-important,” Kalvin said. “My parents taught me that keeping my word is a matter of honour. I felt I knew these men well and it never occurred to me we should put this in writing. I was confident these good friends would honour their word.”
In retrospect, it would have been prudent to document the agreement. Lottery winnings have destroyed relationships, even between family members. On its website, the B.C. Lottery Corporation suggests such agreements be documented. Money often has a corrupting influence and can be a real test of character.
Kalvin worked as a superintendent on construction projects these years. Then three back surgeries sidelined him from the work scene. For five years he had no income, just plenty of pain. “I emptied my RRSP account and my wife worked,” he said. They moved to the Hedley area and now live on four acres overlooking the Similkameen River. On a disability pension, he is able to work only a few hours each day. Since their last day on the golf course, two of the original four partners have succumbed to cancer, leaving only Kalvin and Corky.
Kalvin has stayed in contact with Corky. This spring he learned his friend had just won big in the lottery. “I reminded him of our commitment to share if one of us hit the jackpot. I was astounded when Corky told me he didn’t remember any such thing.”
For Kalvin, not receiving his share isn’t the most troubling aspect of this situation. “The thing that hurts in this is that my friend of 15 years has decided not to honour the commitment. I always thought he was a straight up guy. He called me his friend. It’s hard to believe he’d do this. I don’t understand how anyone can break trust and destroy a friendship for the sake of money. If he came on my yard today and offered me the $500,000, I’d ask to see the cheques for the widows of our golfing partners. If he didn’t intend to pay them, I wouldn’t accept a dime.” Shaking his head he said, “I just can’t respect someone who doesn’t follow through on his word.” He paused, then concluded with, “For me, it’s a matter of honour.”