In a 2 hour telephone conversation from her home in Florida last week, paralympic gold medalist Lauren Barwick told me about her devastating accident and how it changed her life. Born in Langley, BC, she loved horses and riding. When a 100 pound bale of hay fell on her and broke her back, she lost all strength and feeling in her legs from her hips down. That day she also lost her dream of being a movies stunt rider.

“After 2 months in the G.F. Strong Rehab Centre,” she said, “I returned to my home, thinking everything I had wanted to do was now impossible. Mom urged me to get on a horse, but I told her I wanted nothing to do with that.”

Only 22 when the accident happened in 2000, she drifted into a state of deep discouragement and depression. A former coach visited, and against vigorous protests, put her on a horse. He talked about preparing for the 2004 Athens Paralympics.

“I had been doing a lot of reflecting,” she said. “I knew I had 3 options. I could be miserable and make people around me miserable. I could end my life. Or, I could move on. I stopped asking ‘why me?’ Instead I now asked, ‘Why would I not be able to win a gold medal?’”

She had trained briefly at the renowned Parelli ranch prior to the accident, but had not completely bought into their philosophy. Now she negotiated with them and returned to the ranch.

Having no lower back muscles and no feeling in her legs, she embarked on a vigorous, disciplined program to strengthen her upper body. Regular visits to the gym included throwing a medicine ball and a lot of time on pulling machines. Outside she did sprints, and also longer distances, in her wheel chair. She grew stronger and now does 10 kilometres a day 2 to 3 times per week. She found mentors and read inspirational books. “I needed to become strong mentally, emotionally and physically,” she said.

The Parelli teaching was well suited to her physical circumstances. Pat Parelli emphasizes partnership without domination and willingness without intimidation. “Don’t kick the horse to start, don’t pull the reins to stop,” is basic to his teaching. Lauren’s philosophy reflects this understanding. There was evident joy in her voice when she said, “my horses catch me. I don’t catch them. I don’t force them to do what I want them to do. A horse can be an incredible partner.”

For Lauren the relationship with a horse is important, even precious. “I treat a horse the way I like to be treated. I want to be my horse’s first choice. I have to earn that by showing respect. It’s the same with humans.” She still stays up late to watch videos about horses. “Studying horsemanship has taught me about myself, morals, the way I live.”

This understanding helps her focus on the good in her life. She is grateful, especially to the Parellis. While under their sponsorship they paid her competition fees and provided accommodation and food. “The Parelli’s enabled me to obtain an incredible education.” She also appreciates the assistance of Canada’s “Own the Podium” program and Equine Canada.

Lauren’s capacity to focus on her vision, her discipline and courage in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, have earned her a place on the international equestrian stage. She has participated in some 50 international events, including 4 world games and the Beijing Paralympics, where she won silver and gold. She is also a much in demand public speaker, providing inspirational talks based on her life. Currently she is training for the Rio 2016 Paralympics.

A 4-star instructor in the Parelli Natural Horsemanship program, she operates her own farm and training centre at Reddick, Florida. She rides 2 to 5 horses a day, usually 6 days a week. Without use of her legs, this is tiring. For 2 to 9 hours a day she teaches horsemanship and conducts clinics and work shops. Her program, Bridging the Gap, attracts clients from diverse places like Germany, Norway, New Zealand, England and the U.S.

Lauren Barwick acknowledges that “since the day when that 100 pound bale broke my back, it hasn’t been easy.” Her parting words to me were, “We need to be open minded. That enables us to see the ideas and opportunities that may help us.”

Linda and I drove from the Fraser Valley to Hedley December 28th, after celebrating Christmas with family and friends.  We stopped at Manning Park Lodge just long enough to buy coffee and get a few photos.  This stretch of the #3 Highway again offered a winter splendor that fostered a deep sense of delight.

Standing on the threshold of a new year, some of us will dare believe we can rise up like eagles and attempt what we have thus far only dreamed of. We will dare to contemplate possibilities that both excite and frighten us.

Working with out of control adolescents on the streets of Surrey and also at Camp Colonial in Hedley, I began to understand that within each of us lies buried a belief we are destined to accomplish something significant with our lives. This understanding was bolstered one morning when Mickey refused to get out of bed and go for breakfast. Only 15, he had been sent by a judge to the One Way Adventure Foundation in the hope one of our programs would foster a less adversarial, criminal mind-set. He was lodged with 11 other equally difficult youths in the Coach house. Fair haired and slight of build, he could be amiable when the gods were smiling on him. When discouragement overtook him though, he became obnoxious and obstinate. This morning, I told the workers to take the others to breakfast and I’d talk with Mickey.

I sat on the edge of his bed and we chatted casually about his family and past life. An atmosphere of despair hovered about him. His mom had visited him only once since he arrived several months ago. Her boyfriend disliked him. His mind had plunged into a deep abyss of resignation, and he had no compelling reason to get out of bed. I wondered if there was even a tiny spark that could be ignited within him.

Realizing he had awakened to a mood of utter disconsolation, I felt I needed to divert him in the most profound way I could think of. “Mickey,” I said, “do you want to do something important with your life?” A radical departure from our conversation to that point, I discerned from the sudden restlessness of his legs that the question had unsettled him. After a moment the restlessness ceased and a meek voice answered, “yah… I do.”

“Can I give you an idea of what it takes to do important things?” I asked. He nodded, probably hoping he wasn’t wandering too far onto dangerous terrain. “Almost always it begins with changing our thinking,” I said. “Changing our thinking about what we are capable of doing and about how we deal with problems. Hard things will often stand in our way. We can believe it’s possible to overcome them and do important things in spite of them.”

Mickey’s nod indicated he had not shut me out. He threw off the bedcovers, resolutely eased out of bed and reached for his pants and shirt.

Tennis super star Serena Williams could have given Mickey, and each of us, a much fuller understanding of a more productive way of thinking. In “My Life: Queen of the Court”, she discusses the value of planting positive, uplifting thoughts in our minds, and reinforcing them continually. When she was young, her mother told her “whatever you become, you become in your head first. You become what you think about most. Good thoughts are powerful.” Serena clung to these words and wrote dozens of post it notes, reminding herself of who she wanted to be and what she hoped to accomplish.

Mickey’s mother never learned the importance of planting a powerful, positive vision in the mind of her son. Like virtually every student of whom I asked the question, Mickey did have the desire to do something significant with his life. He also had at least the spark of a belief that he could.

I concluded from the experiences I had with our students there must be planted within each of us a belief we are capable of doing something that has meaning and value. For all of us, the start of a new year is a great time to think about what we want to accomplish in the coming 12 months, and in the rest of our life. We can believe for more and reach a little higher. We all have everything it takes to do important things.