For about 2 years I’ve been observing an 85 year old man at Menno Hospital where my father is a resident. This man, John, is not a resident but a visitor. He comes in at 10 am to spend time with his wife Teresa 7 days a week. The fact that Teresa has Alzheimers and does not recognize him seems not to deter him. “I still recognize her,” he told me. John feeds Teresa lunch and dinner, addressing her lovingly as “sweetie”.
When he was told to come in for a minor surgical procedure at the General Hospital, he said,”you’ll have to give me a different time, that is when I feed my wife.” At mealtimes he puts aprons on the other residents and has a cheery word for each one. Sometimes he comes to my Dad and gives him a quick back rub. Often I hear him whistling, as though to give expression to an inner delight.
Inspite of his age and some personal health challenges, John is absolutely and wonderfully committed to Teresa and to the other residents. When I see him leave sometime after 6 in the evening, I often notice that his feet seem a little heavier, and his expression is more serious. Even so, there is an aura about him that suggests he feels fulfilled at having once again lived up to his commitment to the woman he still loves deeply.
Observing John, I have decided that he has learned to live with a sense of abundance and joy. Without realizing it, he has become a mentor to myself and also to many of the workers at Menno Hospital.