Category Archives: People

Africa Experience Draws Couple Together

Doug & Michelle Nimchuk
Doug & Michelle Nimchuk

“We were still in the dating stage when Doug asked if I wanted to go to Africa with him,” Michelle told Linda and me recently. “I agreed immediately, but had no idea what I was getting into.”

I had invited Michelle and Doug Nimchuk to our home for tea. Valentine’s Day was approaching and I wanted the perspective of a couple that had progressed beyond the euphoria of a spicy romantic relationship. Listening to their account of travelling 13 months in Africa, I decided their story was worth telling.

Doug and Michelle are wonderfully different. He’s pragmatic and not given to hyperbole. In response to my question about early thoughts concerning Michelle he said, “she was pleasant.” Michelle is endowed with a delicate sprinkle of effervescence. “An ex-boyfriend introduced us,” she said. “Doug was handsome, very fit and he’d been to Asia for a year. Also, he owned a 2-seater sports car.” She reflected for a moment then continued with a smile, “He wasn’t a good dancer, but he liked to dance. I liked it that he was very attentive and wanted to dance only with me.”

They began their odyssey in Durban, South Africa, equipped with a tent, sleeping bags, mosquito netting, camp stove and other items. When I asked how they got along, Doug replied, “we got along fine.” Michelle’s recollection was less rosy. “We had a spat in Kenya. Doug wasn’t living up to my expectations. I told him I was leaving. Then I looked around. We were in wilderness.”

She paused for a moment, her face serious. “In Canada I’d probably have got in my car and left. That would have been the end of the relationship. In this wilderness though, it wouldn’t have been safe to leave. I began to understand that one of us would have to initiate dialogue to make this trip work. It wouldn’t be Doug.”

“Communication definitely wasn’t my strong area,” Doug admitted. It was intriguing to observe them now calmly sort out their at times differing memories.

“I began to vocalize the issues,” Michelle said. “I encouraged Doug to also talk.” They had learned some things about communication.

Michelle’s brother Darryl joined them in mid trip. In a remote area of Burundi they encountered a crises of another kind. “The people told us they had not seen a tourist in 2 years,” Doug said. “They urged us to leave because it was too dangerous.”

This advice proved correct when 3 men accosted them and grabbed for Doug and Darryl’s money belts. Doug thwarted one assailant physically, but received a hard head butt that broke his nose. Darryl’s belt was taken. It held his plane ticket and passport so he and Doug gave chase. Doug’s nose was bleeding profusely, but with the help of construction workers they did recover the money belt.

Still in Burundi, Doug contracted malaria and Darryl had a serious bout of diarrhea. Michelle nursed them back to health. Before they were out of Burundi, she came down with malaria. “The men weren’t as compassionate or attentive as I was when they were sick. I told them they were poor nurse maids.”

Back in Canada, they agreed the Africa experience had brought them closer together. “I felt we were compatible”, Michelle said, “and I was ready to get married.” But Doug, always wanting to get things right, needed more time.

Doug & Michelle today, still in love.
Doug & Michelle today,
still in love.

When they tied the knot a couple of years later, they continued to focus on communication. “We realized we’d been raised in very different families. In both cases, our parents stayed together, but through some difficult times,” Doug said. “We we were responding to troubling issues the way they had. We found a small neighbourhood church where we learned more productive strategies for dealing with disagreements.”

Today the Nimchuks have 4 children. Michelle is Assistant Director of Immersive Technologies at the Heritage Christian Online School. She is also a board member at the Hedley Grace Church. Doug drives school bus part time and does renovations as well. He has been chairman of the Hedley Improvement District and is a firefighter and first responder with the Hedley Fire Department.

At the end Michelle said, “ I wouldn’t recommend 13 months in Africa to test a relationship. For us it worked though.”

 

Protecting the Dream in Cawston

Corey Brown, an organic farmer in Cawston, BC
Corey Brown, an organic farmer in Cawston, BC

It is common for “creatures of the city” to dream of buying a few acres in the country and settling into a peaceful, idyllic life. For Corey and Colleen Brown, the dream became a reality 11 years ago when they gave up the comforts and amenities of Victoria and bought just over 5 acres in Cawston. Since then they have become aware they must join with others in preserving the dream for themselves, their children, and fellow residents of the Similkameen Valley.

Colleen, a Dietitian, was at work when Linda and I visited the farm last week. “We wanted to raise our children in the country,” Corey said to explain their move here. “Also, I wanted to farm. It’s fortunate we came when prices were still low.”

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Walking about the spacious domain of his 99 contented, clucking chickens and listening to Corey, it was easy to mistakenly conclude he is simply one more farmer passionate about his small scale operation. Certainly he is passionate and credits neighbour Moses Brown (no relation) for helping him get started in organic farming. People are eager to buy the eggs. In summer he also raises up to 500 broilers. From Harry Jones, former owner of Iceberg Meats, he learned the art of humanely slaughtering chickens. Interestingly, he was once a committed vegetarian. Currently he is involved with several organic farming organizations and vice president of the Penticton Farmers Market.

Sitting at the kitchen table of their comfortable home, another of Corey’s passions began to emerge, hesitantly at first. He doesn’t like to draw attention to himself.

“I’m deeply involved in the organic scene,” he said, “but I realize one day my 2 children may ask what I did about issues like pollution in the Similkameen River. I want to have an answer for them.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “I want to work with others to create an awareness of the threats facing our community and the entire valley. I feel people need to realize if we’re not involved, we’ll be sold out. Too often people aren’t interested until they understand an issue will impact them personally. It’s important to help them make that connection.”

To this end, under the auspices of “Similkameen Okanagan Organic Producers Association” he recently showed a Naomi Klein documentary film in Cawston. Klein has authored several books, including “This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. the Climate”. He had expected younger people in the audience, but it was mostly Boomers who came. “I did it because I wanted people to be up to date with what’s happening.”

Corey expresses his views with clarity and vigour in conversation, but he’s reluctant to speak in public. “Sometimes after saying something in a meeting, I feel that I didn’t get it right. Then I think I should have remained quiet.”

He realizes though that if people remain silent, “the world will roll over us. We need to push against the boundaries that hold us back.”
He works with others to help people make the connection between their own lives and the destructive forces at work in their community and the larger society. He seems to understand intuitively the words of author John C. Maxwell who has said, “one is too small a number to achieve great things.”

On February 29, from 6 to 9 pm, Friends of the Similkameen River will sponsor a public forum at the Cawston Hall. “It will be a night about water in our valley,” he said.

Sometimes people ask how he continues to be positive when it’s so dark. “I tell them to do some thing,” he said. “If a lot of us do something, we can make things happen. I feel there is a vast grass roots movement around the world.”

Corey views himself simply as one of many seeking to produce positive outcomes in Cawston and the entire Similkameen Valley. He is quick to express gratitude for the encouragement he has received from organic growers and others advocating for the environment and healthy communities. “There’s a core of hard working people in the valley,” he said at the end. “When I’m involved with them, I feel like I’m accomplishing something important. Colleen and I know we must do our part to keep the dream alive for ourselves and others.”

“Special Ones” In Similkameen Valley

When I turn off the computer today, I will have written 52 columns for two local newspapers this year, some personal, some political, most based on conversations with exceptionally motivated and focused individuals. I think of them as “special ones”, people not content to sit in restaurants drinking coffee and complaining about everything they consider wrong in the world. They rarely say “someone should do something about that.” They are busy making a significant difference in their community. Reflecting back this week on 2015, I began pondering what it is about these people that sets them apart and seemingly lifts their lives to a higher level.

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I feel that keeping values and culture alive and vibrant is one of the significant contributions made by some of the special ones. At the Pow Wow put on by the Lower Similkameen Indian Band, I talked with Lauren Terbasket, a member of the organizing team. I sensed her passion for infusing future generations with pride in their heritage. I saw children bedecked in brightly coloured regalia. Beautiful teenage girls and lithe young men had invested considerable time and funds in their outfits. It was a celebration of friendships, culture, and values.

Pastor Graham Gore
Pastor Graham Gore

Another key function of special ones is to set a positive, uplifting tone. Graham Gore, pastor of the Hedley Grace Church, is viewed by some non attenders as pastor to the community. Less involved publicly, Myrtle Gore’s smile and encouraging words are like a balm for the troubled soul. By their attitude, words and actions, Graham and Myrtle are mentors to some and an inspiration to many. Their love for people fosters a more gentle atmosphere.

I’ve observed that some of the special ones help keep local stories and history alive. Jennifer Douglass and Andy English have carried out extensive research into the largely forgotten Hedley men who enlisted in the Canadian military in World War 1. Except for their research, this important story might have remained buried, possibly forever. Presently they are raising funds to refurbish the Hedley cenotaph. Others, in the community and outside Hedley, have caught their vision and are supporting the project.

Jennifer Douglass & Andy English
Jennifer Douglass & Andy English

The origins of the Allison family and their contribution to the opening of the Similkameen Valley might also have been lost if several local great granddaughters had not delved into that intriguing piece of history. I became interested in this story when I heard about Nora Allison and her pack train of horses. She transported food, mining supplies and other items from Hope to Greenwood. Lori Thomas of Princeton and Nancy Allison of Hedley patiently provided me with details of the life of John Fall Allison, his indigenous first wife Nora and caucasian second wife, Susan. It is because of individuals like Lori and Nancy, and also Susan’s book, “A Pioneer Gentle Woman in British Columbia,” that we have some understanding of the early years of white settlement here, and the role of indigenous people.

Often we are too busy to notice unique contributions being made in our community. One example is Ruth Woodin in her role as Hedley Postmaster. She will listen patiently to a tale of woe, but don’t be surprised if she advises a change of perspective. If someone comes in with an unfounded rumour, she is quick to put the kibosh on anything that might tarnish a reputation.

A number of the individuals I interviewed this year demonstrated tremendous strength of character. Angelique Wood’s attempts to introduce fresh thinking and ideas into the Hedley community have earned her the strident opposition of a small cadre of detractors. Fortunately there are many who appreciate her generosity, desire to serve the community, and courage to consider innovative strategies.

Don Armstrong, (on right)
Don Armstrong, (on right)

The contributions of special ones are varied. Ken Helm of rural Cawston has assembled and lovingly rebuilt an array of delightful vintage vehicles. Lydia Sawicki is passionate about putting an end to wilderness dumping. Don Armstrong of Hedley and Darryl McDonald of Keremeos organized a Hedley BBQ and Summer Festival. Each second Sunday of the month, members of the Hedley Seniors’ Centre host a delicious, $5 pancake breakfast. Most communities benefit from the efforts of such local organizations.

Our lives are enriched when we become aware of the special ones in our midst. Usually they are quietly performing some function that benefits the community. In 2016 we should notice them, honour them, protect them if necessary, and consider becoming special ones ourselves.

The St. Germains of Stirling Creek Ranch

Kimberly & Jay St. Germain
Kimberly & Jay St. Germain

As a corporate executive with Super Save Group, local rancher Jay St. Germain was drawing a salary that would make most of us giddy with envy. The job didn’t allow for the lifestyle he wanted though. “When I increased my division’s profits,” he said, “it just meant the expectation level went up.” One day he confided to his wife Kimberly, “by the time I’m 50, I want to be out of the city.”

Jay grew up around tractors, equipment and agriculture. Early on, his parents owned a chicken farm, and had horses for hunting. One year he rode bulls. He also joined a saddle club. Early experiences developed in him a love of the outdoors.

Jay and Kimberly met at a night club on the Lower Mainland. His CFL linebacker frame (minus the extra weight) got him a job there as doorman/bouncer. Kimberly, blond, pretty and comfortable talking with almost anyone, was a bartender. She jokingly said, “Jay threw out anyone who was a possible rival suitor.”

Kimberly went on to a 25 year career in telecommunications, beginning with Bell Canada and ending at the help desk at Telus. Prior to working for Super Save, Jay became a realtor and also owned a cleaning business that employed 25 people. He had the drive, skill and personality to achieve impressive success in business, but in his heart he always knew he wanted to be in ranching.

His parents bought a ranch in the Pemberton area and Jay spent as much time there as possible.

He and Kimberly were married in September, 1992. They bought 5 acres in Milner and had horses. “In time, we had a good home, a Mercedes in the garage and the income to go out for nice dinners and various events,” Jay said. “I realized though I’d never find fulfillment in the corporate world.”

His parents sold the Pemberton ranch. Then, a few years ago his dad began talking of buying another one. He would only do it though if Jay and Kimberly partnered with him.

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When they decided to take the plunge and began looking for a ranch, it meant giving up the security of a corporate income and pension. Jay’s fellow executives were dumbfounded. They attempted to convince him this was a foolhardy move. Just a little more than a year after purchasing the Stirling Creek Ranch west of Hedley, he says, “life experiences are a result of the choices we make. At times we have to risk to get what we want. I’m a risk taker.”

The ranch has changed their lives. “Before we made this move I’d often be in a hotel room in Toronto or some other city,” he said. “I was away a lot. Now I work 7 days a week, but I love what I do, and I see Kimberly every day.” Instead of attending executive meetings, his work is mostly outdoors, where he wants to be.

Jay & Doug, the cowboy
Jay & Doug, the cowboy

With the help of Doug, their one cowboy, his time is given to haying, managing the range so the cattle don’t overgraze, repairing equipment, cutting in trails, riding, fixing fences and much more. Coy, their Australian Working Kelpie, assists with cattle control.

Jay & Coy, the Australian Working Kelpie
Jay & Coy, the Australian Working Kelpie

The St. Germains feel fortunate in having inherited Robin from the previous ownership. “Robin manages the place,” Jay said. “He knows where the wells are. He knows a lot about breeding. It’s all so technical now. He has made the learning curve less steep.”

Kimberly doesn’t have Jay’s agricultural background but she pitches in whenever she can and is eager to learn. “I began taking riding lessons,” she said, “but then I had back issues and also broke an arm. I do want to be a cowgirl so I can help with the roundup. It will enable me to embrace the life style more fully. In spring I’ll get back to the lessons.”

The St. Germains own about 450 acres and lease thousands more, some from the local band and individuals. They also have a government grazing lease. Their goal now is to improve the herd and make the ranch profitable. “Costs and profits don’t match up well,” Jay said.

Even so, after a delicious lunch in the dining area of their spacious home and listening to them, Linda and I sensed their contentment. “We’re living our dream,” Jay said. He is nearing 50 and out of the city.

A Cosmopolitan Lady In Hedley

Lynn Wells
Lynn Wells

At the end of her presentation to a group of tourists at the Hedley Museum, Lynn Wells was approached hesitantly by a young woman. “Do you live here?” she whispered. Lynn assured her she did. Incredulous ,the woman’s eyes widened and she asked, “why?” Had she known where Lynn has lived, she might have been even more incredulous.

Lynn’s beginnings didn’t portend anything special. “I was born in Toronto,” she told me. “My family soon moved to a small acreage where we had a garden and an orchard.” From age 4 she pleaded with her parents to buy her a horse. When she was 10 they bought her a mature pony, or so they thought. Some months later, a vet informed them it was actually a young stallion. “I was bucked off that horse many times,” she said. It was an early lesson in staying in the game and using difficult situations to gain experience.

As a young adult, without a degree or training, she persuaded a tv station to hire her. She was trained to be a production assistant and worked on a variety of shows. “This is where I met my husband,” she said.

Her world continued to expand. “We lived in Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa and Oakville. After working for W5, my husband wanted to move to Paris to study for 2 years.” Suddenly she was in the midst of an unfamiliar culture, among people who spoke a language and had attitudes she didn’t comprehend.

Just as she had decided years ago to continue riding the bucking stallion, she now chose not to be overwhelmed by loneliness and anxiety. “I used that time to become quite fluent in French,” she said, “and I learned to get around in the city. I became more confident of my ability to survive in challenging circumstances. I learned I could take risks.”

Back in Canada, her marriage disintegrated and she needed to press ahead on her own, with two young sons. At age 48, while employed by Canada Post, she began working toward an Arts degree at the University of Ottawa. Her manager suggested professionally this degree would have no value. By now she had developed the inner strength to say, “I’m doing it for myself.” It was a step toward the inner contentment that would in time allow her to live anywhere, including Hedley.

Another development bringing Lynn closer to Hedley was her move to Penticton. “That was to support my mother.” She began working as Executive Director for a non-profit immigration services organization. “Two years as a stranger in France helped me better understand some of the issues faced by newcomers.” She had become quite adept at writing grant applications and increased funding for the organization from $80,000 per year to $300,000.

Here she was introduced to travelling Citizenship Judge Bill Day. “We were involved in putting on citizenship ceremonies,” she said. “Bill wanted to meet the person who had organized the event. After a talk, he handed me his card and invited me to join him for coffee when I came to Vancouver.” That invitation was the first step in a coming together of two individuals admirably suited to each other.

When her aged mother required extensive home care, Lynn quit her job and looked after her the last 2 years of her life. She said, “sometimes I’d get in my car and explore. This is how I discovered Hedley. It was a bit quirky. On one of my excursions into the community, I noticed a property I really liked. There were two, not in great shape, houses on it. In time it came on the market and I snapped it up.”

When her mother passed away, Lynn moved into one of the houses and quickly became involved in the community. Today she is a member of the Hedley Historic Museum and the Hedley Seniors’ Centre. She also chairs the Hedley Improvement District (HID).

Having lived in Paris and Canada’s largest cities, and having visited Hong Kong numerous times, Lynn Wells is a cosmopolitan lady. It is in Hedley though, she has discovered an inner equilibrium, a quiet place in her soul. She likes the people, the scenery, the wildlife, and she likes to give back to her community. The incredulous young lady might not understand, but Lynn just likes to be here.

Attorney Speaks Of Wills And Life

Veronica Armstrong
Veronica Armstrong

Sitting at the round table in our sun room this week, Richmond attorney Veronica Armstrong talked about her life and her legal practice. She had given a free presentation on wills and personal planning at the Hedley Seniors’ Centre Saturday evening. Linda and I invited her to come for coffee before returning to her home Monday morning.

“My husband and I moved to Canada from South Africa in 1998,” she told us. “Our home was in Johannesburg, a leading financial centre at the time. We came for our 3 children. There was a lot of crime. We didn’t want them to have to look over their shoulders all the time.”

As with many immigrants, the move proved to be difficult for her. Having experienced the end of Apartheid, she had very much wanted to be part of the transition to a more equitable society. Not knowing many people in her new community, she felt deeply lonely. Also, in spite of solid legal experience in the financial realm in South Africa, finding employment in Canada was challenging.

Veronica is fluent in English and Afrikaans, and also speaks enough Cantonese to get by. “In South Africa I worked for a huge bank,” she said. “I was head of the bank’s international legal division. When I looked for work in Canada, employers intimated I had come from some remote backwater. The only job I could get initially was at a Taco Time.”

In 1999 the B.C. Securities Commission advertised a position. The competition had actually closed a week earlier, but she called and asked if she could still apply. When she told them she had considerable experience with derivatives, they instructed her to fax her resume immediately. They were looking at applications that afternoon.

Veronica was hired and worked for the Commission from 1999-2007, then joined a start-up company in real estate. When the crash of 2008 killed the company, she founded her own law practice, Veronica Armstrong Law Corporation, and started over. Her focus now is primarily on wills and personal planning, including power of attorney and representative agreements. She also does some small business contracts. All her clients, many of whom are women, come to her by referral. “Sometimes they just need to talk about their planning,” she said. “When they know they have done it right, they can relax.”

I asked Veronica what basic counsel she has for people. “Wills aren’t important just for people up in age,” she said. “It‘s a good idea for younger people to have a will too. Also, review the will, especially when there has been a major change such as a birth or a death in the family. Begin to have a conversation with the executor of your will or whoever has the power of attorney. Make your wishes known. Deal with legal and financial matters.”

“It’s also a good idea to have a Representative Agreement,” she continued. “This puts in writing your wishes concerning personal care and health care.” Legal advice is important so it’s done right, she suggested.

We then went on to ask Veronica further about her interests and activities away from her office. She smiled broadly as she talked with great enthusiasm about her 3 children. There was also excitement in her voice when she told us about her role in music at the church she attends. “There are about 3,000 families,” she said. “We have people from the Philippines, Goa (India), Africa and China, as well as many Caucasians.” She sings in 2 choirs and leads one church choir. Music is a joy and she continues to take voice lessons. Sensing her excitement when she talked about the church involvement, it was easy to conclude this is where she finds a great deal of inclusion and fulfillment.

When I asked about her purpose in life, she said, “I tried to figure this out for about a year. Now I understand that my purpose is to love. I smile at people a lot when I’m out walking. Some smile back. Some probably think I’m crazy.”

When we bade her goodbye, she smiled and gave us each a warm hug. An attorney whose interest goes far beyond wills and contracts, she does indeed love people. It’s easy to smile when Veronica smiles.

A Friend To “Untouchables”

 

Arnet Hales
Arnet Hales

Almost without exception, most of us avoid associating with the “untouchables” in our society. It’s even more unlikely we will seek them out with the intent of being their friend. Arnet Hales is one of that rare breed willing to be a friend to those society has cast off as worthless scum.

I first met Arnet in Hedley in the 1980’s when he was 27, phenomenally fit and about to attain a Black Belt in karate. His brutal training regimen sent shivers along my spine. He had come to work at the wilderness camp for young offenders operated by the One Way Adventure Foundation.

In September of this year, Arnet and spouse Gina travelled 1700 kilometres to the Idaho Maximum Security Institution so he could visit for two hours with a man he did not know and had never met. Brian, the inmate he visited, has served 10 years of his sentence, receives no visits, and, according to Arnet, “is unlikely to ever see the street again.” Arnet chooses not to ask about Brian’s crime but knows he is not welcome outside prison walls.

When the Hales visited Linda and me on their return trip from Idaho, I saw that the past 35 years have exacted a heavy toll on Arnet’s once impressive trim physique. “Several years ago an illness landed me in a hospital isolation ward for 6 months,” he said. “The medical people weren’t sure I’d ever get out. I still have little short term memory and my balance is uncertain.” The resolute determination we observed in his martial arts workouts is still there though, and he has extended his walking from 60 steps to 8,200.

His early pilgrimage was on a treacherous path, mired in a quicksand of turmoil. “My dad had a serious gambling addiction and was probably in jail when I was born in 1949,” he said. “My mom took my sister and me out of the home and moved us to a hotel in a seedy section of Swift Current, Saskatchewan. I was sexually assaulted there by a resident.”

In 1967 he ran away from home and lived on the streets for a year. “That December I was arrested with a pocket full of drugs. I did 3 years in jail for that.” Upon release he got a truck driving job but rear ended a car, “probably due to an alcoholic binge the night before.” He was quickly fired and a period of deep depression ensued.

His life took a more positive turn in 1974 when he met Marilyn. “She was beautiful and I loved her,” he said. “I don’t know if she loved me, but she tolerated me.” She invited him to a Sally Ann production. “I went so I’d be able to sit beside her. She was in the production and that didn’t happen.” He says he did have a spiritual experience though and heard a voice say, “Arnet, it’s time to come home.” That night he slept through to the morning for the first time in years, and his life began to change. Possibly his own arduous journey helps him understand Brian desperately needs a friend.

It began several years ago when a woman in Pt. Hardy handed him a letter and said, “I think you’re the one to respond to this.”

Many letters later, Gina told Arnet she had holidays coming in September. She suggested they drive to Idaho so he could visit Brian. They arrived at the prison September 11 and Arnet was escorted into the visits area. A glass barrier would prevent physical contact.

“Brian was brought in, his hands cuffed tightly behind his back. His head was lowered until the cuffs were removed. When he looked up and realized I was the visitor, he smiled broadly.”

At the end of their visit Arnet said a prayer for Brian. Glancing up, he saw that Brian had placed his finger tips against the glass separating them. Arnet placed his finger tips against the glass opposite Brian’s. In 10 years it was the closest this lonely man had come to having positive physical contact with anyone outside the prison.

“I just want Brian to know he’s not totally alone,” Arnet said in response to my question. “I want him to know he has a friend.”

In a subsequent letter, Brian wrote “I told the chaplain, Arnet is my friend.”

The Conversation I Missed

dump truck

When I received the email saying cousin Eddy had just passed away, a thought emerged unbidden from the misty depths of my sub-conscious. It suggested there was a conversation I had not had with Eddy. Now the opportunity had slipped away and a sense of dark disquiet settled in the bowels of my psyche.

I always called Eddy on his birthday. However, in work and life experience, we had walked on radically different paths. I realized now that conversationally we had not drilled deep enough.

A few days after the email, Eddy’s sister asked me to gather information about his life and write the eulogy. Maybe, I thought, his 8 surviving siblings would be able to answer some of the questions I should have asked him.

I wanted to know what had given him meaning and a sense of fulfillment. What had been important to him? What had given him pleasure and joy? Had anything surprised him? Did he regret anything? Who had he been close to? What were his thoughts, knowing he would shortly draw his final breath??

Eddy was born at home in a small settlement not far from Steinbach, Manitoba, the same area in which I was born. He was delivered by our grandmother Susana, who in her time delivered hundreds of babies. Our mothers were sisters. In 1947 the family moved to the Fraser Valley and when he was old enough, he quit school and got a job.

Most of his 9 siblings became successful in real estate. Several gravitated to the eye glass business. Eddy worked as a trucker, driving first a highway rig and in recent years a dump truck.

It was well known that he lived with a couple of addictions. One sister said, “he enjoyed his alcohol and cigarettes.” His siblings were concerned about this but he apparently did not give much thought to the health implications. If there was a price to pay, he would pay it without grumbling. Unlike some who are driven to despair and life on the street by substance dependency, Eddy possessed the inner ruggedness to carry on with work and a social life.

His siblings are now focusing on the positives. “In his early years,” Alven his youngest brother recalled, “Eddy was a great yodeler. He played the accordian very well. He tried to teach me but that didn’t go anywhere. He was my big brother.”

Being a truck driver gave Eddy a sense of deep purpose and self-respect. Jake, an older brother said, “he was a born trucker. For him the truck was almost like a live person. When his truck was being loaded, he stood on the running board to watch. He didn’t allow it to be overloaded.”

Vic, the superintendent on many high rise projects Eddy drove for said, “he was my best driver. When we were ready to begin digging a hole for a new building, in the morning I’d see a truck come flying around the corner. It was always Eddy. He set the pace.” Cathy, his life partner, said he was called “Fast Eddy” by other truckers. He retired at age 70. In appreciation for his faithful service, his employer sent him and Kathy to Mexico for a holiday.

Eddy’s joy came from an extraordinarily close relationship with Cathy, the love of his life for the past 10 years. “Five years ago our dog Princess and I began riding in the truck with him on his jobs,” she said.“I’d pack a lunch, sometimes it was buns with sliced meat and tomatoes. We’d stop in a park and eat. Eddy often told people we have a picnic everyday.” Rob Redekop, the company owner, said that when Cathy started riding with Eddy the paperwork improved.

For 20 years a shadow had hovered over Eddy’s life. He had not talked with his only son during that time and didn’t know how to bring about a healing of the relationship. A week before he passed away, his brothers Jake and Andy approached the son about a reconciliation. Eddy’s younger sister Leona shaved Eddy and cut his hair, to prepare him for the surprise visit. It went well, and Eddy’s son and family are now getting used to being part of the extended family.

According to Alven, just before his passing Eddy said, “I’ve made peace with God. I’m not scared to die. I’m happy.” He drew his last breath while Alven was holding him in his arms.

 

Professor Focuses on Indigenous History

Prof. Janet MacArthur
Prof. Janet MacArthur

Approximately 6 months after writing about the Similkameen Valley’s well known Allison family, I received an e-mail from Professor Janet MacArthur of UBC’s Kelowna campus. “I’m collaborating on an anthology of writings by white and indigenous women who lived in the interior in the early settlement period,” she wrote. “Can we talk?”

I live in a small community not renowned for its sophistication. What kind of prof was she, I wondered. Would I require a dictionary in hand to understand her academic language? And did I know anything that would be helpful to her?

In a 2 hour visit at our kitchen table and then a telephone conversation, I realized that in spite of an education infinitely superior to mine, I didn’t need the dictionary. We began by talking about much more than her current writing project. I learned that challenging life experiences have given her an understanding that cannot be attained via a high level of education.

“My mother was ill during much of my growing up time, but I had lots of support from other family when she couldn’t be there,” she said in response to my question about her early years. “My grandmother became a big influence. I learned from her about becoming strong, having faith and the importance of education.”

She completed a BEd at University of Calgary, taught school in northern Alberta, pursued graduate studies at Dalhousie and UBC, then earned a PhD in Renaissance literature at U of C in 1988. In 1989, she was hired at Okanagan University College in Kelowna where she has taught 16th and17th century literature, including Shakespeare, women’s literature, and autobiography.

When I asked about challenges in her life, Janet’s expression became serious and a sober note crept into her voice. “I have a pretty competitive side,” she said. “Twenty years ago I was given a diagnosis of Lupus. There were many things I wanted to accomplish, but could not. That was devastating and at first I was angry.”

She paused to reflect, then said, “the illness forced me to think about my limits and accept them. I understand now that people who don’t need to struggle do not comprehend some things. It’s given me a deeper understanding of life. I hope I have grown spiritually through this.”

When she was 44, Janet adopted an infant girl from China, then another daughter 10 years later. “At my age it has been tougher than I expected,” she said, “but a huge source of joy.”

An area of interest now is how people react to extreme experience. She explores this in a course on Holocaust memoir. “The media simplifies issues,” she said, “but events can mean different things. I urge my students to probe deeper. In the Holocaust course we look at accounts written by victims, perpetrators, bystanders, and children. We consider how this historical episode continues to affect many cultures. We examine thoughts and feelings. Too often people turn a blind eye to what is happening. I value the opportunity to shape the way students think.” Her focus on Holocaust trauma is related to her work on the oppression of the Syilx (Okanagan and Similkameen) people.

The planned anthology of writings by indigenous and settler women is a collaboration with Jeannette Armstrong of the En’owken Centre in Penticton and Lally Grauer, retired UBCO professor.. “We’re bringing out a history that hasn’t been offered to the public yet,” she said. “We’re trying to create a trace of the women of the past. Even white women’s voices are not central to traditional Okanagan and Similkameen history. Bringing indigenous and non-indigenous women’s voices together provides a new way of seeing.”

She values the writing of early Princeton settler Susan Allison, the white wife of John Fall Allison, as she appears to have had an unconventional relationship with First Nations people. Earlier work on Susan Allison overlooks this. “Susan was in a state of conflict because she knew the white people and was part of that culture. She couldn’t say some things, but she leaves a muted trace.”

Janet feels that Nora Allison, John Fall’s (aboriginal) first wife should be celebrated. “I would like the indigenous women of today to tell the story of John Fall’s two wives,” she said. Janet MacArthur and her collaborators are serious about providing them that opportunity.

Grouse Grind for Alzheimer’s

Mark Lamont
Mark Lamont

This past Sunday my friend Mark Lamont of Burnaby participated in a team climb of the Grouse Grind to raise funds for Alzheimer’s research and services. On the same day a group of climbers assembled at Base Camp on the 5,895 metre high Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania to mount an assent, also to raise Alzheimer’s research funds.

Except in winter months, Mark has been training on the 2.9 kilometre Grind every second day. Over the past 3 years he has done more than 200 climbs and has taken part in the Alzheimer’s Climb each year.  At age 52, he is physically fit, without an ounce of flab. In one climb he was surprised by an unanticipated blizzard. He’s extraordinarily determined and it didn’t stop him. For the Sunday Grind, participants were divided into teams of 7. Each team’s combined climbs amounted to approximately the same elevation as Mt. Kilimanjaro. With a time of 38 min.1 sec., Mark recorded the fastest climb this Sunday.

“I began doing it when I learned that a person very close to me was showing symptoms of Alzheimer’s,” he said. “I want to do something to help find a cure. If we do nothing, the situation will not get better.”

According to a brochure I picked up at the Alzheimer Society, Alzheimer’s is the most common of a large group of disorders known as dementias. It is an irreversible disease of the brain in which the progressive degeneration of brain cells causes thinking ability and memory to deteriorate. Currently about 70,000 British Columbians are suffering from some form of dementia.

Most of us know at least one person with the illness. We’ve seen victims held in its vice-like talons, being drawn relentlessly into a puzzling maze where there exist chaos and sometimes sheer mayhem. Like a heartless vampire, it sucks the life from loving relationships.

Not long ago, my friend Henry experienced the devastating impact Alzheimer’s can have on a relationship. On a cold winter day he walked into his wife’s room in an Alzheimer’s unit of an extended care facility. The puzzled expression on her face told him immediately she was confused by his presence. “Who are you?” she asked. He explained he was her husband and they had been married 42 years. “No,” she said emphatically, “you are not my husband.” Pointing at a photo of a young army officer on her dresser, she said, “that is my husband.” The disease had placed a veil between her and reality. He could not help her understand he was the young man in the photo taken 41 years ago.

For me a line in one of the pamphlets was personally disquieting. “In a population in which one parent has Alzheimer’s,” it said, “5 of every 100 individuals can expect an Alzheimer’s diagnosis by about age 65.” I find this troubling because my mother was given a dementia diagnosis in the last year of her life. Does this mean one day I might be one of those five?

To this time the complexity of the brain has prevented major breakthroughs. Research has however produced several medications that can help with symptoms such as declining memory, language, thinking ability and motor skills. The Alzheimer Society says earlier diagnosis can mean treatments are started in the early stages.

The Society recommends a healthy lifestyle to help the brain maintain connections and even develop new ones. Challenging the brain and keeping it active is important. “Try something new,” the Society suggests, “and change routines. Take up a new interest such as learning a language or playing an instrument. Be socially and physically active.” The Society stresses the importance of protecting the head by wearing a helmet in contact sports and other activities.

Mark  Lamont on Grouse Grind
Mark Lamont on Grouse Grind

Mark told me funds raised through the MKGG (Mt. Kilimanjaro Grouse Grind) will help ensure that people whose lives have been impacted by any of the dementias can connect to a province-wide network of support services and education programs.
Anyone desiring further information can go to www.alzheimerbc.org. To support Mark in raising funds, go to www.hikemkgg.com and click on “donate”. This will take you to the “Search for a Participant” page. Type in Mark Lamont and follow instructions.

For me a donation is a welcome way of making a positive difference without exposing my human frailty on the remorseless Grouse Grind.